" The good ol' hockey game..." I think it would rival "O Canada" as our anthem!
Outdoor winter sports are a cornerstone here on the prairies. Yep, we gotta drive awhile to find a hill if we wanna ski, but fort-building, skating and snowmobiling are the top three around here.
The huge trend in our area is having your very own rink. The community rinks are busting at the seams, so let's face it! Having your own slab of ice is awesome crowd control!
Our kids hockey teams are never lacking players! My husband coaches the team one of our girls plays on, and I see so much more than teaching skills or plays. HUGE opportunity to touch the lives of families you might not get to know otherwise.
So far, our barn is still empty and i still can't seem to land a job. However, it seems God never lets us run out of stuff to do. Coaching a hockey team is only one example of what God has filled our "to do" lists with. Countless evenings have been spent discussing and praying for players, parents, fellow coaches and the young refs that often see the worst in the fans!
I have watched and prayed as my husband has had to call on the Lord for much wisdom in any given situation because it's not just about hockey. So often I see God suiting up in that dressing room too!
It takes a lot of wisdom and faith to run a farm. Sometimes that feels so useless, cuz let's face it, we're putting so much energy into what is temporary, but on the other hand, we have to make a living. Putting all that faith and wisdom with all your heart and soul into what is eternal, is food for the soul!
In order for there to be hockey in heaven, we gotta get the players there!
....I hope there's a LOT of ice in heaven, cuz we're working on signing a lot of players!
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Friday, December 19, 2008
Christmas Came Early For Me!
Do you remember the nativity scene I was wishing for a few posts back? Well bless my husband and my kids(!) they wanted me to have it before Christmas! They thought it was so unfair to open it on Christmas, only to have to pack it up to wait for next year!
I have never really wanted a nativity scene. I always thought they took up too much space in storage and when it's set up, well, I gotta dust the thing!
I remember getting one for my mom one Christmas and she loved it! She loved the beautiful colors that give it that eastern world flair and the intricate details of the painted faces. The angel looks so glorious and the wise men look...well...wise!
Though it never really spoke to me like it did to my mom, I do remember gazing at it sometimes in the glow of the Christmas tree lights, wondering, 'what was it like?' The pageantry of the scene seemed a little off to me, but like stained glass windows in a church, deep red poppies at Remembrance Day or artful renders of the cross at Easter, it pays homage...
Homage to the first, most life-altering events of mankind.
My Nativity scene looks nothing like my mothers. Mine is simple. White and grey. There are no faces. The star is rust colored. There are no fancy colorful fabrics on the backs of the animals. I love it. It symbolizes what I think it would have been like.
On that dark night, few would have even heard that the young couple that had to stay in the stable that night had given birth to a boy. Even lesser known, would have been the fact that he was not just an ordinary boy. He was a king.
If you would have been there, you would have had to look pretty hard to figure out the king-ness of it all.
As you sat in the tavern near the inn, ordering a pint of ale to warm you to your toes, you might have overheard someone talking about it, nodded, glad mom and babe are doing fine. But if you didn't know about the shepherds in the fields, the angels, the magi running around and studying stars to find him, you would have missed the whole thing.
It's true still today - if you don't look deeper into God's Word, you will miss it. Though you've seen the book on store shelves, knowing it's existance, you will miss the most simple, life-altering truth of you could ever know.
I have never really wanted a nativity scene. I always thought they took up too much space in storage and when it's set up, well, I gotta dust the thing!
I remember getting one for my mom one Christmas and she loved it! She loved the beautiful colors that give it that eastern world flair and the intricate details of the painted faces. The angel looks so glorious and the wise men look...well...wise!
Though it never really spoke to me like it did to my mom, I do remember gazing at it sometimes in the glow of the Christmas tree lights, wondering, 'what was it like?' The pageantry of the scene seemed a little off to me, but like stained glass windows in a church, deep red poppies at Remembrance Day or artful renders of the cross at Easter, it pays homage...
Homage to the first, most life-altering events of mankind.
My Nativity scene looks nothing like my mothers. Mine is simple. White and grey. There are no faces. The star is rust colored. There are no fancy colorful fabrics on the backs of the animals. I love it. It symbolizes what I think it would have been like.
On that dark night, few would have even heard that the young couple that had to stay in the stable that night had given birth to a boy. Even lesser known, would have been the fact that he was not just an ordinary boy. He was a king.
If you would have been there, you would have had to look pretty hard to figure out the king-ness of it all.
As you sat in the tavern near the inn, ordering a pint of ale to warm you to your toes, you might have overheard someone talking about it, nodded, glad mom and babe are doing fine. But if you didn't know about the shepherds in the fields, the angels, the magi running around and studying stars to find him, you would have missed the whole thing.
It's true still today - if you don't look deeper into God's Word, you will miss it. Though you've seen the book on store shelves, knowing it's existance, you will miss the most simple, life-altering truth of you could ever know.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Extreme Conditions
...and no. I am not talking about the weather. Yes, here in the prairies, we have become the Great White North with the mercury being frozen in place! Our tires are square, our breath lingers in the air long enough for us to examine it, cars won't start and it is all hitting the 6 o'clock news!
What is also hitting the news is the global financial crisis. It seems to be a constant at every news hour. The part that DOESN'T hit the news?
The God component. The satan component. Let's not fool ourselves. If we were to pull back the fabric of life, we would see an all-out war that would frighten the most highly decorated soldier.
Ephesians 6:12
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
The enemy has it out for us. As much as God has a plan for our lives, so does the devil. I have spent the last 9 months watching the enemy try to destroy my farm, my marriage and my life.
Last week, he kicked it into high-gear as I watched him come after my kids. I suppose he has not been very happy that his plans and tactics are producing few results - and what does sometimes hit the mark, is reversed when I consult my Great Commander for the next strategy.
The temperatures outside seem to be a reflection of this latest attack. What do you do when the circumstances are entirely out of your control? I can do absolutely nothing about the biting cold and the brisk winds that seem to make every venture out the door a battle that should go down in history!
Nor can I do anything when the enemy chooses to attack my kids. The conditions of their hearts and the choices they make in school, at a volleyball tournaments, in hockey practice, youth, or at a friend's house are out of my hands.
Though fighting with the economy isn't easy, I can make decisions about how to deal with it based on my time with the Lord and His promises.
So why has satan turned his attacks on my kids?
Because he thinks he knows what my default will be.
Psalm 37:8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil."
The enemy is waiting for me to lose it! He is waiting for me get right bent out of shape, do and say things that will completely wreck any faith I have or testimony that my life might bare. He is trying to shred me to pieces and while he's at it, make sure he gets the kids too - cuz if he can wiggle his way into their lives now, with accusations and confusion, he's got strings to pull later on too.
This sound like a losing battle to me. But am I truly defenseless in this? Back to the temps - I might have to deal with it, but I am prepared. I have the right gear. I listen to the weather. My car has been serviced to deal with this extreme cold. My furnace is in good working order. I've got sweaters and long-johns galore!
My extreme battles? I am prepared. I spend time in God's word. I claim His promises to be true. I cover my kids in prayer and go to battle on their behalf - my armor (Eph. 6:10-18) is well used! They go to youth. They hear worship music. God has not hung them out to dry!
Psalm 37:32
"The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, seeking their very lives; but the Lord will not leave them in their power or let them be condemned when brought to trial."
Yes, extreme conditions exist both on this side of the fabric of life and on the other side.
I'm so glad to have a very big coat and a very big God!
What is also hitting the news is the global financial crisis. It seems to be a constant at every news hour. The part that DOESN'T hit the news?
The God component. The satan component. Let's not fool ourselves. If we were to pull back the fabric of life, we would see an all-out war that would frighten the most highly decorated soldier.
Ephesians 6:12
"For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.
The enemy has it out for us. As much as God has a plan for our lives, so does the devil. I have spent the last 9 months watching the enemy try to destroy my farm, my marriage and my life.
Last week, he kicked it into high-gear as I watched him come after my kids. I suppose he has not been very happy that his plans and tactics are producing few results - and what does sometimes hit the mark, is reversed when I consult my Great Commander for the next strategy.
The temperatures outside seem to be a reflection of this latest attack. What do you do when the circumstances are entirely out of your control? I can do absolutely nothing about the biting cold and the brisk winds that seem to make every venture out the door a battle that should go down in history!
Nor can I do anything when the enemy chooses to attack my kids. The conditions of their hearts and the choices they make in school, at a volleyball tournaments, in hockey practice, youth, or at a friend's house are out of my hands.
Though fighting with the economy isn't easy, I can make decisions about how to deal with it based on my time with the Lord and His promises.
So why has satan turned his attacks on my kids?
Because he thinks he knows what my default will be.
Psalm 37:8 "Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret - it leads only to evil."
The enemy is waiting for me to lose it! He is waiting for me get right bent out of shape, do and say things that will completely wreck any faith I have or testimony that my life might bare. He is trying to shred me to pieces and while he's at it, make sure he gets the kids too - cuz if he can wiggle his way into their lives now, with accusations and confusion, he's got strings to pull later on too.
This sound like a losing battle to me. But am I truly defenseless in this? Back to the temps - I might have to deal with it, but I am prepared. I have the right gear. I listen to the weather. My car has been serviced to deal with this extreme cold. My furnace is in good working order. I've got sweaters and long-johns galore!
My extreme battles? I am prepared. I spend time in God's word. I claim His promises to be true. I cover my kids in prayer and go to battle on their behalf - my armor (Eph. 6:10-18) is well used! They go to youth. They hear worship music. God has not hung them out to dry!
Psalm 37:32
"The wicked lie in wait for the righteous, seeking their very lives; but the Lord will not leave them in their power or let them be condemned when brought to trial."
Yes, extreme conditions exist both on this side of the fabric of life and on the other side.
I'm so glad to have a very big coat and a very big God!
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Christmas Relief!
It's funny how in the midst of a storm, there is relief and certainty - even blessings. In the ravages of a tornado, there has been much needed rain. A hurricane is certain to end. A rainbow fills the sky with promise.
This is true too in my personal storm. Christmas is never a good time for financial disaster. Well, no time is a good time, but Christmas is especially stressful. So you can imagine my surprise at the freedom I have felt this season. There is no pressure for me to buy, buy, buy, buy! No time wasted in the malls, finding a parking spot and jostling among stressed frantic shoppers - all in an effort to "buy" good cheer and spread it!!!! LOL
I thank God for this relief! I have been content to be here, at home, baking a little, decorating a little and making my home a peaceful place to be this season. Tonite we'll put up the tree and breath new life into our old decorations.
I only wish I had a nativity scene to set up, because this year, more than any other, I am so humbled by the scene that my Jesus allowed himself to be placed in to bring me salvation and abundant life! Sometimes you see the most, when you have the least.
This is true too in my personal storm. Christmas is never a good time for financial disaster. Well, no time is a good time, but Christmas is especially stressful. So you can imagine my surprise at the freedom I have felt this season. There is no pressure for me to buy, buy, buy, buy! No time wasted in the malls, finding a parking spot and jostling among stressed frantic shoppers - all in an effort to "buy" good cheer and spread it!!!! LOL
I thank God for this relief! I have been content to be here, at home, baking a little, decorating a little and making my home a peaceful place to be this season. Tonite we'll put up the tree and breath new life into our old decorations.
I only wish I had a nativity scene to set up, because this year, more than any other, I am so humbled by the scene that my Jesus allowed himself to be placed in to bring me salvation and abundant life! Sometimes you see the most, when you have the least.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Unsettled
My time with God this morning seemed so fruitless. I felt so restless and disturbed. I asked God for a picture of why I was feeling that way.
God brought me back to a time of prayer awhile back, where he had shown me a picture about where I was at in my soul about this "un-farm" situation.
The picture had been a seascape - dark sky, dark deep water, a row boat. I am not anywhere in the picture. Jesus is, but I'm not sure where. It was like He was asking me to fill it in - where did I want to be in the picture? I looked at it. Well, obviously I didn't want to be IN the water...but the row boat didn't look all that inviting either - safe, but not inviting. On the water! That's where I wanna be!
Further on in my prayers He gave me the picture again. This time, it was filled in. Sure enough, I was in the water. But I noticed something. I wasn't crashing around, flailing or panicking. I still had the sense that Jesus was there. Not only that, the water wasn't nearly as deep as I had first thought. It was still dark but it wasn't rough. My footing was sure. In fact, the water was not quite chest-deep. I was ok. I was at complete peace with being in the water.
Today that picture changed. Today, while I was in the water, my face did not register peace, but worry. I repented of it and asked God to fill me again with peace.
It is not coming naturally for me to believe that He has done so, so I will simply believe that he has and continue to lay my unrest at His feet a hundred times today if I have to! No amount of worrying is going to change my circumstances.
When I manage to look at the big picture through peace-colored glasses, I am excited for what God is doing, and will do! There are pieces missing cuz it's a puzzle picture and upon completion, I will be in Glory.
But sometimes, Like today, I wish God would give me a glimpse of what some of those missing pieces are.
...then again, maybe not! Careful what you wish for? Ok. I'll stick with the picture of peace in the water, but don't think I've forgotten where I want to be in that picture.
I'm waiting for that part of the picture to change.
God brought me back to a time of prayer awhile back, where he had shown me a picture about where I was at in my soul about this "un-farm" situation.
The picture had been a seascape - dark sky, dark deep water, a row boat. I am not anywhere in the picture. Jesus is, but I'm not sure where. It was like He was asking me to fill it in - where did I want to be in the picture? I looked at it. Well, obviously I didn't want to be IN the water...but the row boat didn't look all that inviting either - safe, but not inviting. On the water! That's where I wanna be!
Further on in my prayers He gave me the picture again. This time, it was filled in. Sure enough, I was in the water. But I noticed something. I wasn't crashing around, flailing or panicking. I still had the sense that Jesus was there. Not only that, the water wasn't nearly as deep as I had first thought. It was still dark but it wasn't rough. My footing was sure. In fact, the water was not quite chest-deep. I was ok. I was at complete peace with being in the water.
Today that picture changed. Today, while I was in the water, my face did not register peace, but worry. I repented of it and asked God to fill me again with peace.
It is not coming naturally for me to believe that He has done so, so I will simply believe that he has and continue to lay my unrest at His feet a hundred times today if I have to! No amount of worrying is going to change my circumstances.
When I manage to look at the big picture through peace-colored glasses, I am excited for what God is doing, and will do! There are pieces missing cuz it's a puzzle picture and upon completion, I will be in Glory.
But sometimes, Like today, I wish God would give me a glimpse of what some of those missing pieces are.
...then again, maybe not! Careful what you wish for? Ok. I'll stick with the picture of peace in the water, but don't think I've forgotten where I want to be in that picture.
I'm waiting for that part of the picture to change.
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
The Fine Line Of Struggle
Yesterday I was trying to express that I'd rather be in a storm with knowing the power of God, the love of Jesus and the whisper of the Holy Spirit, than have smooth sailing, knowing only that - smooth sailing!
David says it so much better in Psalm 60:3&4
You have shown your people desperate times; you have given us wine that makes us stagger. But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner to be unfurled against the bow.
In Psalm 59 David is asking God to deliver the Israelites from their enemies. But then he asks this in verse 11: Do not kill them, O Lord our shield, or my people will forget.
That's it! We forget who God is and what He said He can do when when the road is wide open and clear.
I DON'T WANT TO FORGET.
Notice that when David asks God not to flat out kill their enemies, he's got a little clause in there...O Lord our shield.
That's my clause too. God, don't completely obliterate the hard nasty stuff, but don't let it overtake me either. Give me just enough desperate times to make me remember your love, power, and your voice.
That's the fine print at the bottom of my prayer, just before I say 'amen.'
I can feel David's struggle here cuz of course he wants to be delivered - oh the stress relief!
...But God, if it's all so good again, we'll forget! We'll forget all about You! So Lord, could give us just enough trouble to keep us at Your mercy? But if You're gonna allow trouble, You have to provide shelter from that. So just sign here on the dotted line Lord. Whew! I think this will work. I'm OK with whatever gets flung my way so that I stick with You like white on rice, as long as you are going to get my scrawny butt out of there in one piece. Capeche?
That's what I mean.
You know that old saying "be careful what you wish for"....
Maybe I should add that to the fine print part of my prayer too! LOL
David says it so much better in Psalm 60:3&4
You have shown your people desperate times; you have given us wine that makes us stagger. But for those who fear you, you have raised a banner to be unfurled against the bow.
In Psalm 59 David is asking God to deliver the Israelites from their enemies. But then he asks this in verse 11: Do not kill them, O Lord our shield, or my people will forget.
That's it! We forget who God is and what He said He can do when when the road is wide open and clear.
I DON'T WANT TO FORGET.
Notice that when David asks God not to flat out kill their enemies, he's got a little clause in there...O Lord our shield.
That's my clause too. God, don't completely obliterate the hard nasty stuff, but don't let it overtake me either. Give me just enough desperate times to make me remember your love, power, and your voice.
That's the fine print at the bottom of my prayer, just before I say 'amen.'
I can feel David's struggle here cuz of course he wants to be delivered - oh the stress relief!
...But God, if it's all so good again, we'll forget! We'll forget all about You! So Lord, could give us just enough trouble to keep us at Your mercy? But if You're gonna allow trouble, You have to provide shelter from that. So just sign here on the dotted line Lord. Whew! I think this will work. I'm OK with whatever gets flung my way so that I stick with You like white on rice, as long as you are going to get my scrawny butt out of there in one piece. Capeche?
That's what I mean.
You know that old saying "be careful what you wish for"....
Maybe I should add that to the fine print part of my prayer too! LOL
Monday, November 10, 2008
Just Who's Understanding Are We A'Leanin' On Here?!
We have snow! The landscape of the prairies is turning into a winter wonderland.
Don't scoff at me! I can see you rolling your eyes at me cuz you braved the 60 km winds this weekend. But really, bare with me here - if I'm not gonna look at it as "winter wonderland"...WHO COULD TAKE IT FOR 5 MONTHS!?!!!!!!!!!
Well, as the months roll on and the season changes, God is continuing to prove His faithfulness. I am working really hard at getting up in what feels like the wee hours of the morning and consistently taking the time to pour out my sin, let Him pour the good stuff into me and worshipping Him for who He is.
Figuring out who God is had been a bit of a challenge for me. I know Him by what He DOES for me! He's been a genie of sorts, much to my shame. I am reading through Psalms and I repeat to God what David said to Him so long ago. The More I learn about His characteristics, the more of Him I can picture in my mind's eye.
Sometimes I can see Him laughing at me - like I mean all out, guffawing cuz it takes me awhile to get out of idiot mode. Then other times I know He weeps over my sin. Still other times, He waits patiently as I sort out the sin that I JUST repented of 15 seconds ago! I can't imagine how frustrated He is with me some times...ok, lots of times!
The times I love is when I can see Him smiling at me. The times He says He is pleased with me. The times He says He loves me no matter what.
If there is one thing my "un-farm" has brought me to, it's a sweeter relationship with my Jesus. I've hunted for jobs, gone to battle for my depression, pinched pennies, reorganized some priorities, mostly, making time for Him. All I have is Him.
The age old Proverb " Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and He will make your path straight" is my mainstay. I don't understand any of this. I don't get the global economic crisis we're in. I don't get the odd weather patterns the world is experiencing. War? Nope. Don't understand that either. Are Harper and Obama great leaders? Who knows? Least of all, is my understanding of my own personal financial crisis.
When it comes to my own little world, a year ago I would have said that get it! I get stability! Trust in the Lord with all your heart?....Hmmm. Not so much back then. Lean not on your own understanding?.....ohhhh, a whole lotta leanin' goin' on!
As far as the straight path...
I think there are a few bends in the road that need to be worked out, but one by one, we're straightening out some.
If I had the chance to go back to the way it was a year ago, I'm not so sure I'd jump at it. Even if God chooses to bless us by way of making our farm prosperous again, it would have to look a lot different! I just can't imagine not having the Holy Spirit filling every corner, every space, nook and cranny.
Nope. The way it was before just isn't good enough.
Don't scoff at me! I can see you rolling your eyes at me cuz you braved the 60 km winds this weekend. But really, bare with me here - if I'm not gonna look at it as "winter wonderland"...WHO COULD TAKE IT FOR 5 MONTHS!?!!!!!!!!!
Well, as the months roll on and the season changes, God is continuing to prove His faithfulness. I am working really hard at getting up in what feels like the wee hours of the morning and consistently taking the time to pour out my sin, let Him pour the good stuff into me and worshipping Him for who He is.
Figuring out who God is had been a bit of a challenge for me. I know Him by what He DOES for me! He's been a genie of sorts, much to my shame. I am reading through Psalms and I repeat to God what David said to Him so long ago. The More I learn about His characteristics, the more of Him I can picture in my mind's eye.
Sometimes I can see Him laughing at me - like I mean all out, guffawing cuz it takes me awhile to get out of idiot mode. Then other times I know He weeps over my sin. Still other times, He waits patiently as I sort out the sin that I JUST repented of 15 seconds ago! I can't imagine how frustrated He is with me some times...ok, lots of times!
The times I love is when I can see Him smiling at me. The times He says He is pleased with me. The times He says He loves me no matter what.
If there is one thing my "un-farm" has brought me to, it's a sweeter relationship with my Jesus. I've hunted for jobs, gone to battle for my depression, pinched pennies, reorganized some priorities, mostly, making time for Him. All I have is Him.
The age old Proverb " Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and He will make your path straight" is my mainstay. I don't understand any of this. I don't get the global economic crisis we're in. I don't get the odd weather patterns the world is experiencing. War? Nope. Don't understand that either. Are Harper and Obama great leaders? Who knows? Least of all, is my understanding of my own personal financial crisis.
When it comes to my own little world, a year ago I would have said that get it! I get stability! Trust in the Lord with all your heart?....Hmmm. Not so much back then. Lean not on your own understanding?.....ohhhh, a whole lotta leanin' goin' on!
As far as the straight path...
I think there are a few bends in the road that need to be worked out, but one by one, we're straightening out some.
If I had the chance to go back to the way it was a year ago, I'm not so sure I'd jump at it. Even if God chooses to bless us by way of making our farm prosperous again, it would have to look a lot different! I just can't imagine not having the Holy Spirit filling every corner, every space, nook and cranny.
Nope. The way it was before just isn't good enough.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
The Hike Of My Life!
I just read a favorite blog. The theme of her day was struggle. The difficulities that struggle brings are sometimes so big that to even begin to deal with the actual waring within is such a challenge.
When I read about Paul's plea with God to take away his thorn, I wonder, "How did he get to the point where he could 'delight in weakness?" God said NO. He said no for a reason. He was moving Paul to lean on Him. Backing up a chapter, Paul lists what he's been through. And God said NO?!?!!! Give the guy a break!
As I bring that picture into focus and line it up with my life's picture, I still question why Paul's was so crystal clear. Paul didn't have this big, leather-bound, letter from God, like I do. So what, exactly, am I missing?!????
I too, have asked God to take away struggles. He too, has said no. I asked God to get me to the joy part! He said, OK. It's a hike for sure! Mostly up hill! But I am enjoying the discoveries as I wind up the hill, stumble over pebbles, trip over brush and roots and slip in trickling streams.
There is no doubt that His strength is needed! But what about the joy? In this challenging hike, I have taken the time to notice and even awe over the beauty surrounding me. When you take in what God has created, you have to stop, and look and smell and feel. Sometimes we struggle so hard, that we have to take a rest and often, it's only cuz we HAD to rest that we actually stopped to notice.
I have had to stop and rest. I hiked through Psalms, Nehemiah, Corinthians...it was so beautiful! I took the time to find more! I have to admit, I'm not much of a hiker, but once I started on this one and got used to it, I just couldn't stop! Suddenly, the hill doesn't seem quite so steep. Wait! Is that joy I feel!
My circumstances haven't changed at all.
I am still jobless.
Our barn is still empty.
Though my wound of depression is healing, I still have to give God authority over it every day.
Nothing has changed. Nothing changed for Paul either. His picture was in vivid color. Mine was in black and white. At the beginning of my journey I saw only gray-scale. Slowly, as I journey with God, the color is filling in.
And you know, the colors will never really be true....not till the end of the beginning when I finish this hike and reside in the new earth with God himself!
I love this hike! Wanna come? I'd love the company!
When I read about Paul's plea with God to take away his thorn, I wonder, "How did he get to the point where he could 'delight in weakness?" God said NO. He said no for a reason. He was moving Paul to lean on Him. Backing up a chapter, Paul lists what he's been through. And God said NO?!?!!! Give the guy a break!
As I bring that picture into focus and line it up with my life's picture, I still question why Paul's was so crystal clear. Paul didn't have this big, leather-bound, letter from God, like I do. So what, exactly, am I missing?!????
I too, have asked God to take away struggles. He too, has said no. I asked God to get me to the joy part! He said, OK. It's a hike for sure! Mostly up hill! But I am enjoying the discoveries as I wind up the hill, stumble over pebbles, trip over brush and roots and slip in trickling streams.
There is no doubt that His strength is needed! But what about the joy? In this challenging hike, I have taken the time to notice and even awe over the beauty surrounding me. When you take in what God has created, you have to stop, and look and smell and feel. Sometimes we struggle so hard, that we have to take a rest and often, it's only cuz we HAD to rest that we actually stopped to notice.
I have had to stop and rest. I hiked through Psalms, Nehemiah, Corinthians...it was so beautiful! I took the time to find more! I have to admit, I'm not much of a hiker, but once I started on this one and got used to it, I just couldn't stop! Suddenly, the hill doesn't seem quite so steep. Wait! Is that joy I feel!
My circumstances haven't changed at all.
I am still jobless.
Our barn is still empty.
Though my wound of depression is healing, I still have to give God authority over it every day.
Nothing has changed. Nothing changed for Paul either. His picture was in vivid color. Mine was in black and white. At the beginning of my journey I saw only gray-scale. Slowly, as I journey with God, the color is filling in.
And you know, the colors will never really be true....not till the end of the beginning when I finish this hike and reside in the new earth with God himself!
I love this hike! Wanna come? I'd love the company!
Thursday, October 30, 2008
STUNNED.
What a gorgeous sunny morning here on the prairies! The breeze is brisk but all I feel through my dining room window is the warmth of the sun hanging in that beautiful blue sky!
I have a very full mind today. I feel like it will burst if I don't get this out! So today might be a long one - get a cup of coffee...you know I've got one! Get comfy.
Here we go...
There is an issue that I am struggling with that I have been trying desperately to ignore. But, like an annoying fly, it keeps finding me and coming back! Finally, it's time to haul out the fly swatter and DEAL. This is where the similarity ends. A quick "thwack" of the swatter makes short order of that fly. The 'issue'? Not so much. I only wish it were that simple.
The issue has a name.
SELF-CONTROL
I know you want to click 'close' right now, but please don't! What God showed me this morning in my time with Him truly stunned me.
A little rewind:
In spring my ladies bible study group began a study called "Living Beyond Yourself" by...yep, you guessed it - Beth Moore. It was a study that unpacked Galatians 5:22-23; the fruit of the spirit. The very last fruit to deal with was...right again - self-control.
Fast-forward to about a week ago.
On three separate occasions within a week, three of my friends approached me about being their accountability in specific areas of their life where they felt completely out of control. They were ALL the same area. Though we are all friends, none knew about each others request for help. Each request came in the same vehicle - humble, repentant, and dare I say, mildly embarrassed about what God had not only asked them to deal with, but the fact they were to confess it to someone else!
Here is the worst part - none of them knew how deeply I was struggling at this particular time with this EXACT same issue!Oh my! I cried out to God "they have no idea what they are asking of me! I am so weak! I am so embarrassed! I am SOOOOO NOT doing this!"... cuz then I'd have to reveal my own struggle!
As I talked with each friend it became clear that while I was saying NO,No,NO; God was saying YES,YES,YES! Seeing as three of us are in the same ladies group (the fourth is a full-time career woman, but she's in our group in spirit!), it didn't take long for us to realize we were all in the same boat; no paddle!
James 5:16 "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
Confession time for me! Yep, I'm struggling too. I am weak in this - affirmative! I need help too - resounding AMEN on that one!
The first friend who approached me pointed me back to the "self-control week" of the the study we had done back in spring.
The more we talked and prayed about this, the more we were led back to Beth's study.
It outlined two main themes for me.
1) Are you going to live like Daniel, or like Samson?
How each of them lived their lives is vastly different.
Daniel's life is lived out in a calm, peaceful, well outlined method([?] There's a better word than method, but i can't think of it right now) When you read Daniel, keep in mind, the circumstances surrounding him were anything but! He was in a furnace, officials and leaders plotted to kill him and he kept the lions company for one night!
Samson, on the other hand...His story is one violent R-rated flick from beginning to end! It would definately be a box-office hit in today's world! He is hap-hazzard, disrespectful, crude, rude and self-serving. When you read about Samson's life in Judges, remember that God had set him apart; just like Daniel. God still used Samson in spite of himself, but just as he had lived, he came to a violent end. There is much evidence in Samson's story that God gives him more than one chance to get it together.
Now we know that if God has set us apart - and He has(!) then He will use us no matter if we look like Samson or Daniel. The question is, (drum roll please) WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE?
God already did His part. He said he was going to use you. The rest is up to you. Self-control.
But what if you have no concept of self-control or how to apply it? What if you're in such a tailspin already that you see no way out?
It's kinda like being in that boat without the paddle....
As you are headed for the rapids, you're not sure if a paddle would help even if you had one! Someone on the shoreline sees what is about to happen and thows you a paddle. Ok! Now what?!?!!! How do you apply it so you can navigate your way out of the rapids? If you had learned how to use a paddle in the first place; way back when the waters were still calm, the rapids wouldn't seem so threatening to you and you would have gotten through it just fine. As it is now, you're headed for a wreakage - paddle or not! (Anyone see Samson in this?)
That brings me to theme #2)
Rebuilding your wall.
What?! How did we get from the water to the wall?!!! Well, there's no water in this scripture, so we had to change gears! LOL
What are walls? Boundaries. Walls keep things in and out.
"Any person without self-control is either an accident looking for a place to happen (the boat?) or a slave in chains." -Beth Moore
"Without self-control, we are like a city with broken down walls! To understand the significance of such a terrible dilema we must remember a crucial characteristic af ancient architecture: a city was only as secure as the walls which surrounded it. A city's walls were it's fortification." -Beth Moore
The scripture is Nehemiah 2.
He is so saddened that Jerusalem lays in ruins. He wants to rebuild the walls so that the enemy will not take this city again.
When I think about that, I see my walls have holes big enough for satan AND his hooligans to drive tanks through! Clearly, I need some repairs. Hmm...so how am I going to do this?
Nehemiah is one man. The city's walls need much more than that! Not to mention, there is opposition and ridicule all around him. Not a lot of chance for success, is there? But God says in
2 Corinthians 12:9 to Paul, "...My power is made perfect in your weakeness."
Long before Paul ever walked the earth, long before Jesus came as both God and flesh, Nehemiah claimed God's strenth and boldy proclaimed "The God of heaven will give us success!" (Neh. 2:20)
Notice he says 'us'? I said he was only one man. Nehemiah enlisted the help of others to rebuild this wall.
Remember the requests of my crazy friends? That's what they did! They sought my help and God has promised success! Remember I said that I was not in any shape to be helping anyone? If Nehemiah could claim God's perfect strength long before Paul's struggles, then surely I can claim it long after! God provided all four of us friends with His strength in the form of each other; all struggling with the same holes in our walls and the same weaknesses. THAT is the God I know and love so well!
Well, as stunning as that all is to me, there is more to it if you can belive that! This whole thing lines up directly with the re-building of our farm. I didn't see it till this morning after I asked God how following Him through this Self-control thing had anything to do with our current state of affairs. Cuz frankly, I just don't have it in me to deal with more than this crisis!
True to form, He answered and amazed me. I'll post more about that answer another time.
Flipping further ahead in Nehemiah, it says this upon completion of the wall:
"When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God."
Neh. 6:16
Let's get stared on that wall girls, so we can be a little more "Daniel" about things!
I have a very full mind today. I feel like it will burst if I don't get this out! So today might be a long one - get a cup of coffee...you know I've got one! Get comfy.
Here we go...
There is an issue that I am struggling with that I have been trying desperately to ignore. But, like an annoying fly, it keeps finding me and coming back! Finally, it's time to haul out the fly swatter and DEAL. This is where the similarity ends. A quick "thwack" of the swatter makes short order of that fly. The 'issue'? Not so much. I only wish it were that simple.
The issue has a name.
SELF-CONTROL
I know you want to click 'close' right now, but please don't! What God showed me this morning in my time with Him truly stunned me.
A little rewind:
In spring my ladies bible study group began a study called "Living Beyond Yourself" by...yep, you guessed it - Beth Moore. It was a study that unpacked Galatians 5:22-23; the fruit of the spirit. The very last fruit to deal with was...right again - self-control.
Fast-forward to about a week ago.
On three separate occasions within a week, three of my friends approached me about being their accountability in specific areas of their life where they felt completely out of control. They were ALL the same area. Though we are all friends, none knew about each others request for help. Each request came in the same vehicle - humble, repentant, and dare I say, mildly embarrassed about what God had not only asked them to deal with, but the fact they were to confess it to someone else!
Here is the worst part - none of them knew how deeply I was struggling at this particular time with this EXACT same issue!Oh my! I cried out to God "they have no idea what they are asking of me! I am so weak! I am so embarrassed! I am SOOOOO NOT doing this!"... cuz then I'd have to reveal my own struggle!
As I talked with each friend it became clear that while I was saying NO,No,NO; God was saying YES,YES,YES! Seeing as three of us are in the same ladies group (the fourth is a full-time career woman, but she's in our group in spirit!), it didn't take long for us to realize we were all in the same boat; no paddle!
James 5:16 "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."
Confession time for me! Yep, I'm struggling too. I am weak in this - affirmative! I need help too - resounding AMEN on that one!
The first friend who approached me pointed me back to the "self-control week" of the the study we had done back in spring.
The more we talked and prayed about this, the more we were led back to Beth's study.
It outlined two main themes for me.
1) Are you going to live like Daniel, or like Samson?
How each of them lived their lives is vastly different.
Daniel's life is lived out in a calm, peaceful, well outlined method([?] There's a better word than method, but i can't think of it right now) When you read Daniel, keep in mind, the circumstances surrounding him were anything but! He was in a furnace, officials and leaders plotted to kill him and he kept the lions company for one night!
Samson, on the other hand...His story is one violent R-rated flick from beginning to end! It would definately be a box-office hit in today's world! He is hap-hazzard, disrespectful, crude, rude and self-serving. When you read about Samson's life in Judges, remember that God had set him apart; just like Daniel. God still used Samson in spite of himself, but just as he had lived, he came to a violent end. There is much evidence in Samson's story that God gives him more than one chance to get it together.
Now we know that if God has set us apart - and He has(!) then He will use us no matter if we look like Samson or Daniel. The question is, (drum roll please) WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE?
God already did His part. He said he was going to use you. The rest is up to you. Self-control.
But what if you have no concept of self-control or how to apply it? What if you're in such a tailspin already that you see no way out?
It's kinda like being in that boat without the paddle....
As you are headed for the rapids, you're not sure if a paddle would help even if you had one! Someone on the shoreline sees what is about to happen and thows you a paddle. Ok! Now what?!?!!! How do you apply it so you can navigate your way out of the rapids? If you had learned how to use a paddle in the first place; way back when the waters were still calm, the rapids wouldn't seem so threatening to you and you would have gotten through it just fine. As it is now, you're headed for a wreakage - paddle or not! (Anyone see Samson in this?)
That brings me to theme #2)
Rebuilding your wall.
What?! How did we get from the water to the wall?!!! Well, there's no water in this scripture, so we had to change gears! LOL
What are walls? Boundaries. Walls keep things in and out.
"Any person without self-control is either an accident looking for a place to happen (the boat?) or a slave in chains." -Beth Moore
"Without self-control, we are like a city with broken down walls! To understand the significance of such a terrible dilema we must remember a crucial characteristic af ancient architecture: a city was only as secure as the walls which surrounded it. A city's walls were it's fortification." -Beth Moore
The scripture is Nehemiah 2.
He is so saddened that Jerusalem lays in ruins. He wants to rebuild the walls so that the enemy will not take this city again.
When I think about that, I see my walls have holes big enough for satan AND his hooligans to drive tanks through! Clearly, I need some repairs. Hmm...so how am I going to do this?
Nehemiah is one man. The city's walls need much more than that! Not to mention, there is opposition and ridicule all around him. Not a lot of chance for success, is there? But God says in
2 Corinthians 12:9 to Paul, "...My power is made perfect in your weakeness."
Long before Paul ever walked the earth, long before Jesus came as both God and flesh, Nehemiah claimed God's strenth and boldy proclaimed "The God of heaven will give us success!" (Neh. 2:20)
Notice he says 'us'? I said he was only one man. Nehemiah enlisted the help of others to rebuild this wall.
Remember the requests of my crazy friends? That's what they did! They sought my help and God has promised success! Remember I said that I was not in any shape to be helping anyone? If Nehemiah could claim God's perfect strength long before Paul's struggles, then surely I can claim it long after! God provided all four of us friends with His strength in the form of each other; all struggling with the same holes in our walls and the same weaknesses. THAT is the God I know and love so well!
Well, as stunning as that all is to me, there is more to it if you can belive that! This whole thing lines up directly with the re-building of our farm. I didn't see it till this morning after I asked God how following Him through this Self-control thing had anything to do with our current state of affairs. Cuz frankly, I just don't have it in me to deal with more than this crisis!
True to form, He answered and amazed me. I'll post more about that answer another time.
Flipping further ahead in Nehemiah, it says this upon completion of the wall:
"When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God."
Neh. 6:16
Let's get stared on that wall girls, so we can be a little more "Daniel" about things!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Tell No Lies!
True to typical prairie weather fashion, yesterday started out gray enough, but by noon the brilliant blue skies had chased away the gloom...
Right into the core of my being! Remember those sentiments of homey sweat home? Well, what greeted my girls when they walked in yesterday was a little closer to SCARY! My oldest daughter saw fit to set me straight-
"I really hate it when you're grumpy!"
"And do you think I like it?!" I charged back in my 'mom' voice. (Intelligent, huh?)
What I really wanted to know was, what happened to the warm fuzzy stuff I had blogged about so much earlier that day?!!!!!!! Even my husband shook his head and was sorry that he hadn't signed some sort of mood wavier on our wedding day!
(Girls, if anyone ever comes up with something like that, once a month we are ALL in trouble! LOL)
That led me to thinking:
anyone anywhere can post whatever-the-heck they want to on the internet. We actually have no reason to believe what other people talk about on the news, talk shows or the world-wide-web, not to mention the send-this-to-10-friends-and-good-things-will-happen e-mails!
The end of my day yesterday had no resemblance what-so-ever to my post. So did I lie? Did I make it all up?
Nope. Not a lick. All true.
First of all, it takes way too much time and energy to make it up! That is not to say though, that the media doesn't like to spice up news stories, and talk shows have to ham it up cuz they want us to watch! But for me, personally, I'm just not all that imaginative!
So if you can't trust the news completely (the weather alone turns a newscaster into a liar!) and talk shows...well, somehow there's always another show about what "REALLY" happened behind the scenes or the internet - I could have NOT confessed the end-of-day events....
Then what is true?
Jesus. The Word.
It is the one true thing.
It's what makes the stuff of life true to form, even if the day looks more like a rollercoaster ride!
So here is my goal for today:
To redeem myself today when the girls get home.
Oh, and the One True thing is also what forgives.
.....I just hope the girls can forget too, cuz that was flat out ugly!
Right into the core of my being! Remember those sentiments of homey sweat home? Well, what greeted my girls when they walked in yesterday was a little closer to SCARY! My oldest daughter saw fit to set me straight-
"I really hate it when you're grumpy!"
"And do you think I like it?!" I charged back in my 'mom' voice. (Intelligent, huh?)
What I really wanted to know was, what happened to the warm fuzzy stuff I had blogged about so much earlier that day?!!!!!!! Even my husband shook his head and was sorry that he hadn't signed some sort of mood wavier on our wedding day!
(Girls, if anyone ever comes up with something like that, once a month we are ALL in trouble! LOL)
That led me to thinking:
anyone anywhere can post whatever-the-heck they want to on the internet. We actually have no reason to believe what other people talk about on the news, talk shows or the world-wide-web, not to mention the send-this-to-10-friends-and-good-things-will-happen e-mails!
The end of my day yesterday had no resemblance what-so-ever to my post. So did I lie? Did I make it all up?
Nope. Not a lick. All true.
First of all, it takes way too much time and energy to make it up! That is not to say though, that the media doesn't like to spice up news stories, and talk shows have to ham it up cuz they want us to watch! But for me, personally, I'm just not all that imaginative!
So if you can't trust the news completely (the weather alone turns a newscaster into a liar!) and talk shows...well, somehow there's always another show about what "REALLY" happened behind the scenes or the internet - I could have NOT confessed the end-of-day events....
Then what is true?
Jesus. The Word.
It is the one true thing.
It's what makes the stuff of life true to form, even if the day looks more like a rollercoaster ride!
So here is my goal for today:
To redeem myself today when the girls get home.
Oh, and the One True thing is also what forgives.
.....I just hope the girls can forget too, cuz that was flat out ugly!
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Survival On The Prairies
Brrrr.....Living on the prairies makes me think we happen to live in the shopping mecca of the world! I know, I can see you all raising your eyebrows to this.
Think about it: Where else do you need to plan your new house around the CLOSET!?!! Where else does this particular closet need to be the BIGGEST room in your house!?! Where else do you need SIX seasons of clothing!?!!!! Yes, SIX - Summer, gorgeous autumn, icy autumn, winter, mushy spring and blooming spring. See. Six.
My parents-in-law; bless their hearts, are already dreading the inevitable winter to come. They have decided to stay in doors at all costs, find a grocery delivery service and in effect, go stir-crazy! I will let you know in spring how this has all worked out for them!
My parents, on the other hand, are headed to for Belize for 2 weeks. They are leaving next week. My dear little sister and her family are on a 6 month mission there. My brother-in-law is teaching in a school there. I am so glad it is only 6 months because even with all this wonderful technology the world sometimes feels just too big.
Well, given these icy prairie winds, my parents may decide not to come back till the mercury comes out of hiding from below that zero! There would be much wisdom in that!!! LOL
It is surely a very gray day today. The leaves are all gone, leaving no shelter from the incoming cold. The clouds are steely with the promise of snow. The barn blends well into this cold picture - on many levels.
It's gray. It's cold. It's empty.
Only the dormant winter lays ahead.
If I would let it, this entire picture could send me right back to bed! But it won't. There is victory! In no way is this picture a reflection of what God's eternal promises are. One of my favorite verses is:
Psalm 20:7
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we...I trust in the name of the Lord our...MY God.
I am not going to put my trust in the things around me that I can see. Snow-filled clouds, the cavernous gray building and my big closet with jackets galore busting out of it are all tangibles. GOD is so much bigger that all of this. There is nothing that cannot be overcome in the name of the Lord MY God.
God our Father wants to give us good things. We might not be the recipients of it here on this huge ball of dirt, but if we look hard, there is some evidence of it here....
I don't like cold, but I love the snow. Living in this shopping mecca? Well, who doesn't love shopping?! Making everyone bundle up to head out the door in the morning is nothing short of a chore. But having them come blowing in at the end of the day to the sights and smells of home is such a blessing. I love those rosy cheeks!
...and one more thing. Coffee! Waking up to the smell of brewing coffee, inhaling the scent of a promising day and wrapping my hands around the warmth of my favorite mug...what more could you ask for!
When God made coffee, He had this prairie girl in mind!
And seeing as I need a little extra chutzpah this morning, I think I'll go brew another pot!
Think about it: Where else do you need to plan your new house around the CLOSET!?!! Where else does this particular closet need to be the BIGGEST room in your house!?! Where else do you need SIX seasons of clothing!?!!!! Yes, SIX - Summer, gorgeous autumn, icy autumn, winter, mushy spring and blooming spring. See. Six.
My parents-in-law; bless their hearts, are already dreading the inevitable winter to come. They have decided to stay in doors at all costs, find a grocery delivery service and in effect, go stir-crazy! I will let you know in spring how this has all worked out for them!
My parents, on the other hand, are headed to for Belize for 2 weeks. They are leaving next week. My dear little sister and her family are on a 6 month mission there. My brother-in-law is teaching in a school there. I am so glad it is only 6 months because even with all this wonderful technology the world sometimes feels just too big.
Well, given these icy prairie winds, my parents may decide not to come back till the mercury comes out of hiding from below that zero! There would be much wisdom in that!!! LOL
It is surely a very gray day today. The leaves are all gone, leaving no shelter from the incoming cold. The clouds are steely with the promise of snow. The barn blends well into this cold picture - on many levels.
It's gray. It's cold. It's empty.
Only the dormant winter lays ahead.
If I would let it, this entire picture could send me right back to bed! But it won't. There is victory! In no way is this picture a reflection of what God's eternal promises are. One of my favorite verses is:
Psalm 20:7
Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we...I trust in the name of the Lord our...MY God.
I am not going to put my trust in the things around me that I can see. Snow-filled clouds, the cavernous gray building and my big closet with jackets galore busting out of it are all tangibles. GOD is so much bigger that all of this. There is nothing that cannot be overcome in the name of the Lord MY God.
God our Father wants to give us good things. We might not be the recipients of it here on this huge ball of dirt, but if we look hard, there is some evidence of it here....
I don't like cold, but I love the snow. Living in this shopping mecca? Well, who doesn't love shopping?! Making everyone bundle up to head out the door in the morning is nothing short of a chore. But having them come blowing in at the end of the day to the sights and smells of home is such a blessing. I love those rosy cheeks!
...and one more thing. Coffee! Waking up to the smell of brewing coffee, inhaling the scent of a promising day and wrapping my hands around the warmth of my favorite mug...what more could you ask for!
When God made coffee, He had this prairie girl in mind!
And seeing as I need a little extra chutzpah this morning, I think I'll go brew another pot!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
THE Video
Just a little note on the Hoyt Team video:
This video was first shown to me this past summer as a bunch of my friends crowded around a computer desk in our host's pantry!
Backround: Six of us women ventured to a Beth Moore conference one weekend this past summer. On the way home, we had the privilege of staying in the home of the sister to one of my fantastic friends. It was the perfect cap to all we had taken in at the conference.
For those of you who are familiar with Beth Moore, there is nothing to say! For those of you who are not, I will say this...
GET FAMILIAR!!!
Find her book, find a study, watch her on "Life Today"...anything! You have got to get to know this anointed woman! If I knew how to link her to my blog, I would! So once I get that figured out, I'll let you know!
Anyway...the video...
This video stuns me because I'm not so sure I would have committed to that for my kid! (My next blog will be 'confessions of a prairie mom!' LOL) The song is so fitting too, because our Redeemer committed to SO MUCH MORE! It's ME riding along in that race. It's ME that my Redeemer is doing all that for! My race is much longer though. It's a lifetime.
As far as the handicaps go? I have plenty of them.
That video can be compared to (and in no way an I minimizing the severity of his handicap or the lengths that his father went through) so many area of our lives. Right now, my area just happens to be our "un-farm".
I see God carrying us through all of this and I love the smile Rick Hoyt has at the end.
I am looking forward to mirroring that smile!
Note: If you have any comments on this video, I'd love to hear them!
This video was first shown to me this past summer as a bunch of my friends crowded around a computer desk in our host's pantry!
Backround: Six of us women ventured to a Beth Moore conference one weekend this past summer. On the way home, we had the privilege of staying in the home of the sister to one of my fantastic friends. It was the perfect cap to all we had taken in at the conference.
For those of you who are familiar with Beth Moore, there is nothing to say! For those of you who are not, I will say this...
GET FAMILIAR!!!
Find her book, find a study, watch her on "Life Today"...anything! You have got to get to know this anointed woman! If I knew how to link her to my blog, I would! So once I get that figured out, I'll let you know!
Anyway...the video...
This video stuns me because I'm not so sure I would have committed to that for my kid! (My next blog will be 'confessions of a prairie mom!' LOL) The song is so fitting too, because our Redeemer committed to SO MUCH MORE! It's ME riding along in that race. It's ME that my Redeemer is doing all that for! My race is much longer though. It's a lifetime.
As far as the handicaps go? I have plenty of them.
That video can be compared to (and in no way an I minimizing the severity of his handicap or the lengths that his father went through) so many area of our lives. Right now, my area just happens to be our "un-farm".
I see God carrying us through all of this and I love the smile Rick Hoyt has at the end.
I am looking forward to mirroring that smile!
Note: If you have any comments on this video, I'd love to hear them!
You've Touched My Heart!
Thank you, thank you, thank you! Some of my dear friends have posted and some have expressed in person to me how they are enjoying this blog. It never occurred to me that my love of writing would come out on a blog. I keep a journal and when I give a card, I always write a little extra in there. Generally, that's the extent of it.
I suppose the real reason I started this is because, yes, I love to write, but also, when friends, family and acquaintances ask "how are you?" truly, how many people what the REAL answer! And if they do, well, give me three hours of your time, and I'll tell you! Not only that, I feel like such a broken record! There just seems to be so much I need to get out and this is a great outlet! Try it! I'd love to read your blogs too!
The thought too, had come to me that just maybe, God would find a way to use this blog for His glory. For kingdom building. Yesterday in church we sang a song that has the line:
"and the cry of my heat is to bring you praise from the inside out."
That song, among many, moves me to tears because if there is ONE thing that I get, it's that line. So often I pray, 'God, how is this going to glorify You? How is my life going to count for eternity in my four walls with my 3 girls and my husband that I have been entrusted with, here, in my little prairie community?'
And so, my new prayer is about this blog:
"Lord, I know that I'm writing primarily for me, but God, could you direct it to someone who needs to hear about YOU! Could You direct it to someone who can read through all my shortcomings and blogging blunders and see Your awesomeness? Please, please,please, let them see You and not me. Thank You for what You can do with all this amazing technology!"
...just found the spell check! Now I won't annoy those spelling freaks out there with my bumbling typing. See? Look what God does with all this technology! LOL
I suppose the real reason I started this is because, yes, I love to write, but also, when friends, family and acquaintances ask "how are you?" truly, how many people what the REAL answer! And if they do, well, give me three hours of your time, and I'll tell you! Not only that, I feel like such a broken record! There just seems to be so much I need to get out and this is a great outlet! Try it! I'd love to read your blogs too!
The thought too, had come to me that just maybe, God would find a way to use this blog for His glory. For kingdom building. Yesterday in church we sang a song that has the line:
"and the cry of my heat is to bring you praise from the inside out."
That song, among many, moves me to tears because if there is ONE thing that I get, it's that line. So often I pray, 'God, how is this going to glorify You? How is my life going to count for eternity in my four walls with my 3 girls and my husband that I have been entrusted with, here, in my little prairie community?'
And so, my new prayer is about this blog:
"Lord, I know that I'm writing primarily for me, but God, could you direct it to someone who needs to hear about YOU! Could You direct it to someone who can read through all my shortcomings and blogging blunders and see Your awesomeness? Please, please,please, let them see You and not me. Thank You for what You can do with all this amazing technology!"
...just found the spell check! Now I won't annoy those spelling freaks out there with my bumbling typing. See? Look what God does with all this technology! LOL
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Bottom Of The Ninth, 2 Strikes, 2 Outs...
I have my computer back! I felt like someone had borrowed my right arm...and leg for awhile!
Thank you, favorite computer guy for taking my relic and turning it into a modern "grease lightning!"
The World Series is on us and though I'm not all that nuts about it, my husband is and I don't mind sitting and watching with him - alternating between my Woman's World crossword puzzle and keeping an eye on the famous faces that might be gracing the crowd! LOL.
I feel like I'm in my own private World Series. I think I am the loosing team. At one time team RMofP saw a glimmer of hope - we could maybe have a winning shot. True, the season was rough...I really thought I had been through the lowest of times this summer when we were in the actual process of emptying out our barn. I spent as much time at our summer place as I could so no one could reach me. I wanted to wallow alone and not let people see how I 'wasn't' handling it all. Of course, moms know better, cuz low and behold, I would get a message on my cell telling me she was praying (and cheering) for us and by the way, "you shouldn't isolate yourself from your family!" At thanksgiving dinner I came clean about it all and thanked my family for their much coveted prayers. But there was a plan! My coach (and yes, I sleep with the coach! heeheehee!) was working on game plans. Sometimes we got some hits, and other times we struck out quick. So Team RMofP finds itself in this World Series as the underdog. Well, underdogs sometimes win...don't they?
Then yesterday happened....
Dinner out. At a popular steakhouse. We love steak! Red wine. Yep, we like that too. My parents-in-law as company. Yes. We love them too! (I am blessed to have such a fantastic relationship with them!) Hog company PR men as company. NOT SO GREAT. The company with wich we no longer have a contract, decided to take us out to dinner to celebrate nearly 30 years of a "mutually benificial relationship" - as they put it. What a bitter dinner. Usually, I love that place. I felt so awkward. What should I do? Come on coach! What's the next play? Should I stand up and scream at them....you still have a job, I have a big empty space! Should I smile and make small talk? Maybe I should excuse myself, head to the bathroom and only return when it's time to go. Nothing seemed right. So I sat. I stared. I ate...sawdust, I think. I drank the red wine - I soooooo needed it! I talked a little. (That's when you know it's bad, cuz I've got so-and-so many words to get in in a day!) Team RMofP was in BIG trouble. We finally rose from the table. We smiled stiffly and shook hands....
Bottom of the ninth. Strike three. Three outs. Our private World Series was over. We didn't win.
There are no contracts out there to sign. Every day we hear of more and more hog producers who didn't win either. They are emptying their barns too. Waht will happen to all these teams next year? How will our World Series shape up then? Time will tell. I don't have the patience for that. Then, I will look back to this entry. I wonder what I will think of it.
My God; who manages Team RMofP will make all the right team decisions and already has next season in sight.
Like all passionate players, the day after, I spent some time in tears. It was just soooo final. I truely didn't think a simple "so long, farewell, aufwiedersein, goodbye" dinner would affect both coach and player so deeply. It feels like we have lost the game of our lives.
The coach and i spent the day togther, doing a little shopping, browsing and drinking coffee. It was a good day all in all. As long as my coach doesn't wan't to trade me and God continues to manage our team, I'll be in for the long haul...no matter what comes our way.
Thank you, favorite computer guy for taking my relic and turning it into a modern "grease lightning!"
The World Series is on us and though I'm not all that nuts about it, my husband is and I don't mind sitting and watching with him - alternating between my Woman's World crossword puzzle and keeping an eye on the famous faces that might be gracing the crowd! LOL.
I feel like I'm in my own private World Series. I think I am the loosing team. At one time team RMofP saw a glimmer of hope - we could maybe have a winning shot. True, the season was rough...I really thought I had been through the lowest of times this summer when we were in the actual process of emptying out our barn. I spent as much time at our summer place as I could so no one could reach me. I wanted to wallow alone and not let people see how I 'wasn't' handling it all. Of course, moms know better, cuz low and behold, I would get a message on my cell telling me she was praying (and cheering) for us and by the way, "you shouldn't isolate yourself from your family!" At thanksgiving dinner I came clean about it all and thanked my family for their much coveted prayers. But there was a plan! My coach (and yes, I sleep with the coach! heeheehee!) was working on game plans. Sometimes we got some hits, and other times we struck out quick. So Team RMofP finds itself in this World Series as the underdog. Well, underdogs sometimes win...don't they?
Then yesterday happened....
Dinner out. At a popular steakhouse. We love steak! Red wine. Yep, we like that too. My parents-in-law as company. Yes. We love them too! (I am blessed to have such a fantastic relationship with them!) Hog company PR men as company. NOT SO GREAT. The company with wich we no longer have a contract, decided to take us out to dinner to celebrate nearly 30 years of a "mutually benificial relationship" - as they put it. What a bitter dinner. Usually, I love that place. I felt so awkward. What should I do? Come on coach! What's the next play? Should I stand up and scream at them....you still have a job, I have a big empty space! Should I smile and make small talk? Maybe I should excuse myself, head to the bathroom and only return when it's time to go. Nothing seemed right. So I sat. I stared. I ate...sawdust, I think. I drank the red wine - I soooooo needed it! I talked a little. (That's when you know it's bad, cuz I've got so-and-so many words to get in in a day!) Team RMofP was in BIG trouble. We finally rose from the table. We smiled stiffly and shook hands....
Bottom of the ninth. Strike three. Three outs. Our private World Series was over. We didn't win.
There are no contracts out there to sign. Every day we hear of more and more hog producers who didn't win either. They are emptying their barns too. Waht will happen to all these teams next year? How will our World Series shape up then? Time will tell. I don't have the patience for that. Then, I will look back to this entry. I wonder what I will think of it.
My God; who manages Team RMofP will make all the right team decisions and already has next season in sight.
Like all passionate players, the day after, I spent some time in tears. It was just soooo final. I truely didn't think a simple "so long, farewell, aufwiedersein, goodbye" dinner would affect both coach and player so deeply. It feels like we have lost the game of our lives.
The coach and i spent the day togther, doing a little shopping, browsing and drinking coffee. It was a good day all in all. As long as my coach doesn't wan't to trade me and God continues to manage our team, I'll be in for the long haul...no matter what comes our way.
Saturday, October 18, 2008
An Ordinary Day
Today is Saturday. It is going to be a gorgeous day! I think I will spend the morning cleaning out the garage so I can park my van in it in the winter! During the summer we use it as gazebo - we put a screen in the garage door and a table and chairs in it so we can socialize away from the misquitos and flies!
Fall is so bitter-sweet. The colors are amazing and the clean, crisp air is so envigorating. I love seeing the fruits of my labor in the garden....fruit!
Oh my goodness!
You should have seen my grapes!
If I can figure it out, I'll post a picture. who knew you could get such a warm-weather fruit on the prairies! We're use to golden wheat, red berries, carrots, potatoes, peas and corn - that's the prairie stuff!
I made my grape jelly the other day and it is FANTABULOUS!!! I know most people lean toward strawberry jam or maybe raspberry, but this...this stuff is amazing! I had some juice left over and my kids love it. It's so sweet - no sugar added! I didn't use sugar in my jelly either. Instead I used a substitute called Xylitol. It's a sugar alcohol that doesn't spike your blood sugar. I use it alot because I feel like the girls get so much sugar elsewhere. I can't control what they get from the school canteen or other places when I'm not there. I do try to encourage then to make wise decisions. I help along where I can in their lunches, the meals I make at home and the stuffI bake for them.
In doing that, having a gaden becomes really important. Fruit jams and jellies, preserves, pasta sauce and salsa are common things that I can. Transfering that stuff from my garden to my pantry feels so good! It saves money at the grocery store and I know what's in the stuff!!! The garden is trimmed, tilled up and ready to go to sleep for the winter. The soil is rich and dark. The shrubs will contrast a little while longer with their red and gold leaves.
I think I'll head out for a short walk and then tackle the garage. What an awesome day!
I am going to focus on the beauty of the day. oh yeah! Gotta get my grapes posted! Here goes.....
Fall is so bitter-sweet. The colors are amazing and the clean, crisp air is so envigorating. I love seeing the fruits of my labor in the garden....fruit!
Oh my goodness!
You should have seen my grapes!
If I can figure it out, I'll post a picture. who knew you could get such a warm-weather fruit on the prairies! We're use to golden wheat, red berries, carrots, potatoes, peas and corn - that's the prairie stuff!
I made my grape jelly the other day and it is FANTABULOUS!!! I know most people lean toward strawberry jam or maybe raspberry, but this...this stuff is amazing! I had some juice left over and my kids love it. It's so sweet - no sugar added! I didn't use sugar in my jelly either. Instead I used a substitute called Xylitol. It's a sugar alcohol that doesn't spike your blood sugar. I use it alot because I feel like the girls get so much sugar elsewhere. I can't control what they get from the school canteen or other places when I'm not there. I do try to encourage then to make wise decisions. I help along where I can in their lunches, the meals I make at home and the stuffI bake for them.
In doing that, having a gaden becomes really important. Fruit jams and jellies, preserves, pasta sauce and salsa are common things that I can. Transfering that stuff from my garden to my pantry feels so good! It saves money at the grocery store and I know what's in the stuff!!! The garden is trimmed, tilled up and ready to go to sleep for the winter. The soil is rich and dark. The shrubs will contrast a little while longer with their red and gold leaves.
I think I'll head out for a short walk and then tackle the garage. What an awesome day!
I am going to focus on the beauty of the day. oh yeah! Gotta get my grapes posted! Here goes.....
Friday, October 17, 2008
Balloons and SOZO
Thanksgiving has come and gone and I was in the zone! Loved it! Expressed my thankfulness and shed a couple of authentic tears, greatful for all God has brought us through. Even dared to think ahead to what God will continue to do in our lives.
That was a mear five days ago. Today, I'm quite sure BOTH eyes were shut this morning when I met God for coffee. My heart was not quite so full. I felt like a reasonable facilmilie of an old deflated party balloon - you know, the one your kid dragged home from some party that you later found behind the easychair because you detected the overwhelming scent of old latex? Yeah, that one! That's kinda how I felt this morning.
So what could happen in the space of five short days that would take me from "my cup overfloweth" to shrunken balloon syndrome? I wish I had an answer. I am not feeling inspired, perky, nor am I viewing the glass half full. I am desperate to get to SOZO Monday night so I can listen to the Holy Spirit and get to the bottom of this thing.
SOZO is the Greek word for prayer, healing and deliverance. The first time I went to SOZO I knew I wanted to deal with my depression. I've suffered with it for years. When I had babies I know I was walking around in a post-partum depression fog, but I figured it'd lift as the girls got older. Uh-huh. Here we are, some eleven-odd years later. Somehow I never got the memo declaring the past-due date. I think it's past-due. Time to deal. So I'm dealing. I have had some victory over it, but I know there is more to deal with.
This week was one of those weeks that I just wanted to take my shrunken-balloon-self and crawl back into bed once the girls were out the door. I've only told my close friends in the last little while what goes on with my depression. They were stunned to find out that if they call my house and have to leave a message, chances are, I am right there, in my bed, listening to it. Those days are so dark. When I am in this deep dark place, I can't wrap my head around anything that is good. I don't really notice my kids, I couldn't begin to tell you what there is in my kitchen for any one meal, I don't take calls from friends and exercise is out of the question. I'm not stupid. I know it's a vicious circle. The more I do nothing, the more territory the enemy gets. I know. So when I set out to find deliverance, I took that one step as a victory. Then I got to some of the roots of my prision of depression. Victory number two. Then I sat in a chair, waiting for my prayer partner to annoint me with oil and pray for healing for me as I watched some others do at SOZO. This is where it got wild. Five or six other prayer partners were asked to come and pray over me! Clearly, this is no small issue. Satan's got some serious territory here and is not letting go without a fight. So I thought to myself, "Bring it on! I'm ready!" And I was. I was sure it would be done because I was ready to let God do with it what He saw fit. I was so ready to go home with silence in my head - not this constant buzzing that I have. Not once did I doubt that He could handle it. I was sure my belief was all it took because the bible says to have faith. I had it in spades! It became clear that night as I lay my head down to sleep that it ws not over. The noise was still there. Why!?!! DELIVER ME! It is the cry of my heart.
A friend of mine shared this verse with me tonight at cell.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I could have cried! All week this week, instead of crawling back into bed, I depended on God to put one foot in front of the other for me. Victory number three.
I am waiting for Monday so I can continue this healing journey and in the process Lord, could You please restore my thankfulness?
That was a mear five days ago. Today, I'm quite sure BOTH eyes were shut this morning when I met God for coffee. My heart was not quite so full. I felt like a reasonable facilmilie of an old deflated party balloon - you know, the one your kid dragged home from some party that you later found behind the easychair because you detected the overwhelming scent of old latex? Yeah, that one! That's kinda how I felt this morning.
So what could happen in the space of five short days that would take me from "my cup overfloweth" to shrunken balloon syndrome? I wish I had an answer. I am not feeling inspired, perky, nor am I viewing the glass half full. I am desperate to get to SOZO Monday night so I can listen to the Holy Spirit and get to the bottom of this thing.
SOZO is the Greek word for prayer, healing and deliverance. The first time I went to SOZO I knew I wanted to deal with my depression. I've suffered with it for years. When I had babies I know I was walking around in a post-partum depression fog, but I figured it'd lift as the girls got older. Uh-huh. Here we are, some eleven-odd years later. Somehow I never got the memo declaring the past-due date. I think it's past-due. Time to deal. So I'm dealing. I have had some victory over it, but I know there is more to deal with.
This week was one of those weeks that I just wanted to take my shrunken-balloon-self and crawl back into bed once the girls were out the door. I've only told my close friends in the last little while what goes on with my depression. They were stunned to find out that if they call my house and have to leave a message, chances are, I am right there, in my bed, listening to it. Those days are so dark. When I am in this deep dark place, I can't wrap my head around anything that is good. I don't really notice my kids, I couldn't begin to tell you what there is in my kitchen for any one meal, I don't take calls from friends and exercise is out of the question. I'm not stupid. I know it's a vicious circle. The more I do nothing, the more territory the enemy gets. I know. So when I set out to find deliverance, I took that one step as a victory. Then I got to some of the roots of my prision of depression. Victory number two. Then I sat in a chair, waiting for my prayer partner to annoint me with oil and pray for healing for me as I watched some others do at SOZO. This is where it got wild. Five or six other prayer partners were asked to come and pray over me! Clearly, this is no small issue. Satan's got some serious territory here and is not letting go without a fight. So I thought to myself, "Bring it on! I'm ready!" And I was. I was sure it would be done because I was ready to let God do with it what He saw fit. I was so ready to go home with silence in my head - not this constant buzzing that I have. Not once did I doubt that He could handle it. I was sure my belief was all it took because the bible says to have faith. I had it in spades! It became clear that night as I lay my head down to sleep that it ws not over. The noise was still there. Why!?!! DELIVER ME! It is the cry of my heart.
A friend of mine shared this verse with me tonight at cell.
2 Corinthians 12:8-10
Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But He said to me, "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
I could have cried! All week this week, instead of crawling back into bed, I depended on God to put one foot in front of the other for me. Victory number three.
I am waiting for Monday so I can continue this healing journey and in the process Lord, could You please restore my thankfulness?
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Still Extoling?
....yes, I'm still "extoling the Lord." I must say, it is somewhat feeble today. I am going though the motions and doing the day-to-day stuff. That's the easy part. I am hanging on to and savouring every normal moment that in the past I have taken for granted because of the stuff that has been stripped away. I made the girls pancakes this morning and had devotions with them before they headed out into the blustery cold. I will pick the sweet grapes off my vine growing next to my front door and make grape jelly. I will start the laundry this morning. I am so thankful for all of this, but in the back of my mind that big, grey empty building looms. My husband and I will both have to find jobs. That in itself is ok, but I've been applying for 2 months now! I've been short-listed a number of times, but somehow I can't seem to snag the job! WHY?!? I have prayed about it so much! Why is God holding out on this? He knows we need jobs! I know, I know....trust. Have faith. God will provide...yes Lord, but could you provide NOW?...Like, RIGHT NOW?!!!!!
Truely, I know the answer to that too. I know He is working in me. He is pruning me. OUCH. Knowing the answers and claiming the truth of those answers are two different things. The bible is full of promises meant for us to claim! I grew up knowing so many of them, but I was never taught how to claim them as my own. God was a very big man in the sky whom I wanted to please because I wanted to get to heaven! It never occured to me that he had so much for me right here on earth, while I am waiting to spend eternity in his presence. That was an " AHA" moment!...THAT is the God I want to know! I want those truths to apply to me! When Joshua asks God to make the sun and the moon stand still because the Isrealites need more daylight for battle....WOW! God hears him! He does it! I wanna know THAT God.
Ok. So here is Awesome God. As I keep learning more and more about his character, how do I make THAT God a constant in my life? How do I get to the point where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that THAT God is with me like white on rice all the time...good times, crappy times, lousy parenting times, less than stellar wife times, and I can't get out of the pit times? So many of David's Psalms of praise give evidence of him seeking God first thing in the morning. Hmmm...so here's David. Leader. Seeking God's wisdom in leading the Isrealites. Adulterer. Murderer. Has serious mood swings...I think he should be called "mad king David!" Yet God calls him a man after his own heart! Why?! To me, David seems more than a little nuts! But that's not how God saw him. What did David do to be known as such by God? He brought everything to God. The good, the bad the ugly and the unmentionable. He knew that nothing was hidden from God. Well, that would also mean that MY stuff isn't hidden either. I may as well bring it on! God is not shocked or intimidated by my weaknessess. He invites me to bring it all to him. Every morning.
So that is what I do. With one eye open, coffee sloshing out of my cup and serious bedhead I meet with him. I praise him. Sometimes , like today, my praise does not exactly have the party mood it should. I pour out to him - yep, even the unmentionable. He fills the space that I just emptied and I can get on with my day. The days I'm too lazy to do that...well, I resemble a mad king David!
SO! Onward HO! I'll just go take care of that bedhead now!!! LOL
Truely, I know the answer to that too. I know He is working in me. He is pruning me. OUCH. Knowing the answers and claiming the truth of those answers are two different things. The bible is full of promises meant for us to claim! I grew up knowing so many of them, but I was never taught how to claim them as my own. God was a very big man in the sky whom I wanted to please because I wanted to get to heaven! It never occured to me that he had so much for me right here on earth, while I am waiting to spend eternity in his presence. That was an " AHA" moment!...THAT is the God I want to know! I want those truths to apply to me! When Joshua asks God to make the sun and the moon stand still because the Isrealites need more daylight for battle....WOW! God hears him! He does it! I wanna know THAT God.
Ok. So here is Awesome God. As I keep learning more and more about his character, how do I make THAT God a constant in my life? How do I get to the point where I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that THAT God is with me like white on rice all the time...good times, crappy times, lousy parenting times, less than stellar wife times, and I can't get out of the pit times? So many of David's Psalms of praise give evidence of him seeking God first thing in the morning. Hmmm...so here's David. Leader. Seeking God's wisdom in leading the Isrealites. Adulterer. Murderer. Has serious mood swings...I think he should be called "mad king David!" Yet God calls him a man after his own heart! Why?! To me, David seems more than a little nuts! But that's not how God saw him. What did David do to be known as such by God? He brought everything to God. The good, the bad the ugly and the unmentionable. He knew that nothing was hidden from God. Well, that would also mean that MY stuff isn't hidden either. I may as well bring it on! God is not shocked or intimidated by my weaknessess. He invites me to bring it all to him. Every morning.
So that is what I do. With one eye open, coffee sloshing out of my cup and serious bedhead I meet with him. I praise him. Sometimes , like today, my praise does not exactly have the party mood it should. I pour out to him - yep, even the unmentionable. He fills the space that I just emptied and I can get on with my day. The days I'm too lazy to do that...well, I resemble a mad king David!
SO! Onward HO! I'll just go take care of that bedhead now!!! LOL
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
The Rough Stuff
Psalm 34:1 "I will extol the Lord at ALL times; his praise will ALWAYS be on my lips."
I still have a few minutes of quiet this morning before the troops are up, ready and out the door for school. The "troops" would be my three girls who are all of tween age...yes, the bathroom is the most sought-after room in the house between 7:00 and 8:00am! If they all emerge with smiles, it's already been a good day! LOL
Normally my husband is already in the barn and our faithfull employees have arrived for the day. Problem 1 (minor): He is flat in bed with the chills. Problem 2 (major): There are no pigs in our barn. There are no emplyees to come to work. When I think about this, the Psalm above is sometimes difficult.
This is our story.....
My husband and I have been married almost 14 years. We have three fantastic girls. All our married life he has worked with his parents on the farm, bringing it through 2 expansions. It grew from a family farm to a small corporation employing up to 6 people, plus the two of us. Three years ago we became the sole owners. Life was good. Life was very good. We felt so blessed! We lived well - newer vehicles, vacations and toys. It wasn't excessive by North-American standards, and it wasn't all perfect. As anyone with a business knows, some times are smooth sailing and others...not so much! We had plenty of times where we were scrambling because employees were few or inefficient. It was all par-for-the-course and we didn't worry about it much. No, we didn't worry much, but we were on speed-dial to God in those times! When we got through those patches, we blew a sigh of relief, thanked God and went on our merry way. In the back of my mind I always wondered, when is God going to allow us to wade in deep waters so that we will have to cry out to him? I don't mean in a speed-dial kinda way. I mean depending on him for guidance and direction. I mean having to intentionally listen to the Holy Spirit. I mean cultivating a relationship with Jesus Christ. I mean taking a second look at what I believe about God, who he is and what he can do. I mean finding eternal purpose in this temporary life. THAT"S WHAT I MEAN!
I think we are there. For years, I have asked God to show us that part of him. I begged him to make our lives about more than just the here and now. Why is it so hard to understand that and capture that when things are going well? Why is that we suffer from "numb-butt" when life is good? We have the tendancy to sit on our butts and let the good stuff come to us. We paid it forward like we are taught but still made sure we were comfortable in the process....heaven forbid we disturb that "numb-butt"!!
Well, let me asure you, the "numb-butt-ness" has been disturbed! Six months ago we opened an enevelope that had a letter of doom inside. It told us that we were no longer under contract with the hog marketing company. Even then, it never occured to us that it come to a completely empty barn! We were sure the hog market would have turned around by then and all we would feel is a small bump in the road. Hmm....what small bump? It's fallen into an enormous pothole!
I think we are there. God heard my prayers for more. I remember a time last fall at a ladies retreat where I found myself face-to-the-floor, sobbing, begging, pleading, petitioning God for more of him. He has delivered in a way that I never imagined. Oh, I thought he would allow rough times to make us sit up and notice but he took it further. I remember the Holy Spirit daying to me "Are you ready for the ride?" I wasn't. God extended his hand to me and brought me to this - I can truely say that I will extol the Lord at all times!
More next time! Today I will praise him with my empty barn and my full heart! Anybody got any ideas of what I can do with such a massive building of concrete and steel?!!!!
I still have a few minutes of quiet this morning before the troops are up, ready and out the door for school. The "troops" would be my three girls who are all of tween age...yes, the bathroom is the most sought-after room in the house between 7:00 and 8:00am! If they all emerge with smiles, it's already been a good day! LOL
Normally my husband is already in the barn and our faithfull employees have arrived for the day. Problem 1 (minor): He is flat in bed with the chills. Problem 2 (major): There are no pigs in our barn. There are no emplyees to come to work. When I think about this, the Psalm above is sometimes difficult.
This is our story.....
My husband and I have been married almost 14 years. We have three fantastic girls. All our married life he has worked with his parents on the farm, bringing it through 2 expansions. It grew from a family farm to a small corporation employing up to 6 people, plus the two of us. Three years ago we became the sole owners. Life was good. Life was very good. We felt so blessed! We lived well - newer vehicles, vacations and toys. It wasn't excessive by North-American standards, and it wasn't all perfect. As anyone with a business knows, some times are smooth sailing and others...not so much! We had plenty of times where we were scrambling because employees were few or inefficient. It was all par-for-the-course and we didn't worry about it much. No, we didn't worry much, but we were on speed-dial to God in those times! When we got through those patches, we blew a sigh of relief, thanked God and went on our merry way. In the back of my mind I always wondered, when is God going to allow us to wade in deep waters so that we will have to cry out to him? I don't mean in a speed-dial kinda way. I mean depending on him for guidance and direction. I mean having to intentionally listen to the Holy Spirit. I mean cultivating a relationship with Jesus Christ. I mean taking a second look at what I believe about God, who he is and what he can do. I mean finding eternal purpose in this temporary life. THAT"S WHAT I MEAN!
I think we are there. For years, I have asked God to show us that part of him. I begged him to make our lives about more than just the here and now. Why is it so hard to understand that and capture that when things are going well? Why is that we suffer from "numb-butt" when life is good? We have the tendancy to sit on our butts and let the good stuff come to us. We paid it forward like we are taught but still made sure we were comfortable in the process....heaven forbid we disturb that "numb-butt"!!
Well, let me asure you, the "numb-butt-ness" has been disturbed! Six months ago we opened an enevelope that had a letter of doom inside. It told us that we were no longer under contract with the hog marketing company. Even then, it never occured to us that it come to a completely empty barn! We were sure the hog market would have turned around by then and all we would feel is a small bump in the road. Hmm....what small bump? It's fallen into an enormous pothole!
I think we are there. God heard my prayers for more. I remember a time last fall at a ladies retreat where I found myself face-to-the-floor, sobbing, begging, pleading, petitioning God for more of him. He has delivered in a way that I never imagined. Oh, I thought he would allow rough times to make us sit up and notice but he took it further. I remember the Holy Spirit daying to me "Are you ready for the ride?" I wasn't. God extended his hand to me and brought me to this - I can truely say that I will extol the Lord at all times!
More next time! Today I will praise him with my empty barn and my full heart! Anybody got any ideas of what I can do with such a massive building of concrete and steel?!!!!
Thursday, October 9, 2008
The Value of Community
This morning in our devotional time, my husband and I learned something about community.
In Luke 1, Mary is told she will give birth to GOD"S SON! This news can cause a bit of hoopla in a small community! Think about it - she's a virgin (who's gonna believe that?!?!), she's probably only about 13 years old or so and she's betrothed to Joseph, which is a coventant as good as being married! Mary immediately buzzes over to Elizabeth to fill her in. Elizabeth doesn't flinch! She gets it because she's got her own miracle going on - she's pregnant too! She's way too old to be having a baby! (Funny. In today's day and age most of us would be devastated to be a grandmother and a new mom at the same time!)
That's the importance of community. That's what blogging is for. You get to vent, rant, encourage and be encouraged. See! I'm figuring it out!
In our tough times (I'll tell you about all of that later) I see how important it is to surround myself with friends who can help carry me through the rough patches, but also not let me wallow in a pit of self-pity. I don't know what God has for us in all of this, but as Beth Moore ( don'tcha just love her!) puts it, "I'm believing God for who He is and What He said He can do!"
I'll post more about my life here on the prairies later, but for now, be encouraged! God's gonna do amazing things, and I want a front row seat! Should I save a seat for you?
In Luke 1, Mary is told she will give birth to GOD"S SON! This news can cause a bit of hoopla in a small community! Think about it - she's a virgin (who's gonna believe that?!?!), she's probably only about 13 years old or so and she's betrothed to Joseph, which is a coventant as good as being married! Mary immediately buzzes over to Elizabeth to fill her in. Elizabeth doesn't flinch! She gets it because she's got her own miracle going on - she's pregnant too! She's way too old to be having a baby! (Funny. In today's day and age most of us would be devastated to be a grandmother and a new mom at the same time!)
That's the importance of community. That's what blogging is for. You get to vent, rant, encourage and be encouraged. See! I'm figuring it out!
In our tough times (I'll tell you about all of that later) I see how important it is to surround myself with friends who can help carry me through the rough patches, but also not let me wallow in a pit of self-pity. I don't know what God has for us in all of this, but as Beth Moore ( don'tcha just love her!) puts it, "I'm believing God for who He is and What He said He can do!"
I'll post more about my life here on the prairies later, but for now, be encouraged! God's gonna do amazing things, and I want a front row seat! Should I save a seat for you?
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Newbie
Ok. Here I am. Doing what I've never done before. I'm not sure I even have all that much to say...ohhhhhh! My husband would SOOO argue that! What if no one wants to read this stuff?Well, stick with me, send a little advice my way, laugh and cry with me and maybe we can help each other along the way here in the prairies.
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