STUNNED.

What a gorgeous sunny morning here on the prairies! The breeze is brisk but all I feel through my dining room window is the warmth of the sun hanging in that beautiful blue sky!

I have a very full mind today. I feel like it will burst if I don't get this out! So today might be a long one - get a cup of coffee...you know I've got one! Get comfy.

Here we go...

There is an issue that I am struggling with that I have been trying desperately to ignore. But, like an annoying fly, it keeps finding me and coming back! Finally, it's time to haul out the fly swatter and DEAL. This is where the similarity ends. A quick "thwack" of the swatter makes short order of that fly. The 'issue'? Not so much. I only wish it were that simple.

The issue has a name.

SELF-CONTROL

I know you want to click 'close' right now, but please don't! What God showed me this morning in my time with Him truly stunned me.

A little rewind:
In spring my ladies bible study group began a study called "Living Beyond Yourself" by...yep, you guessed it - Beth Moore. It was a study that unpacked Galatians 5:22-23; the fruit of the spirit. The very last fruit to deal with was...right again - self-control.

Fast-forward to about a week ago.
On three separate occasions within a week, three of my friends approached me about being their accountability in specific areas of their life where they felt completely out of control. They were ALL the same area. Though we are all friends, none knew about each others request for help. Each request came in the same vehicle - humble, repentant, and dare I say, mildly embarrassed about what God had not only asked them to deal with, but the fact they were to confess it to someone else!

Here is the worst part - none of them knew how deeply I was struggling at this particular time with this EXACT same issue!Oh my! I cried out to God "they have no idea what they are asking of me! I am so weak! I am so embarrassed! I am SOOOOO NOT doing this!"... cuz then I'd have to reveal my own struggle!

As I talked with each friend it became clear that while I was saying NO,No,NO; God was saying YES,YES,YES! Seeing as three of us are in the same ladies group (the fourth is a full-time career woman, but she's in our group in spirit!), it didn't take long for us to realize we were all in the same boat; no paddle!

James 5:16 "Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed."

Confession time for me! Yep, I'm struggling too. I am weak in this - affirmative! I need help too - resounding AMEN on that one!

The first friend who approached me pointed me back to the "self-control week" of the the study we had done back in spring.

The more we talked and prayed about this, the more we were led back to Beth's study.
It outlined two main themes for me.

1) Are you going to live like Daniel, or like Samson?
How each of them lived their lives is vastly different.

Daniel's life is lived out in a calm, peaceful, well outlined method([?] There's a better word than method, but i can't think of it right now) When you read Daniel, keep in mind, the circumstances surrounding him were anything but! He was in a furnace, officials and leaders plotted to kill him and he kept the lions company for one night!

Samson, on the other hand...His story is one violent R-rated flick from beginning to end! It would definately be a box-office hit in today's world! He is hap-hazzard, disrespectful, crude, rude and self-serving. When you read about Samson's life in Judges, remember that God had set him apart; just like Daniel. God still used Samson in spite of himself, but just as he had lived, he came to a violent end. There is much evidence in Samson's story that God gives him more than one chance to get it together.

Now we know that if God has set us apart - and He has(!) then He will use us no matter if we look like Samson or Daniel. The question is, (drum roll please) WHAT DO YOU WANT IT TO LOOK LIKE?

God already did His part. He said he was going to use you. The rest is up to you. Self-control.

But what if you have no concept of self-control or how to apply it? What if you're in such a tailspin already that you see no way out?

It's kinda like being in that boat without the paddle....
As you are headed for the rapids, you're not sure if a paddle would help even if you had one! Someone on the shoreline sees what is about to happen and thows you a paddle. Ok! Now what?!?!!! How do you apply it so you can navigate your way out of the rapids? If you had learned how to use a paddle in the first place; way back when the waters were still calm, the rapids wouldn't seem so threatening to you and you would have gotten through it just fine. As it is now, you're headed for a wreakage - paddle or not! (Anyone see Samson in this?)

That brings me to theme #2)
Rebuilding your wall.
What?! How did we get from the water to the wall?!!! Well, there's no water in this scripture, so we had to change gears! LOL

What are walls? Boundaries. Walls keep things in and out.

"Any person without self-control is either an accident looking for a place to happen (the boat?) or a slave in chains." -Beth Moore
"Without self-control, we are like a city with broken down walls! To understand the significance of such a terrible dilema we must remember a crucial characteristic af ancient architecture: a city was only as secure as the walls which surrounded it. A city's walls were it's fortification." -Beth Moore

The scripture is Nehemiah 2.
He is so saddened that Jerusalem lays in ruins. He wants to rebuild the walls so that the enemy will not take this city again.

When I think about that, I see my walls have holes big enough for satan AND his hooligans to drive tanks through! Clearly, I need some repairs. Hmm...so how am I going to do this?

Nehemiah is one man. The city's walls need much more than that! Not to mention, there is opposition and ridicule all around him. Not a lot of chance for success, is there? But God says in
2 Corinthians 12:9 to Paul, "...My power is made perfect in your weakeness."

Long before Paul ever walked the earth, long before Jesus came as both God and flesh, Nehemiah claimed God's strenth and boldy proclaimed "The God of heaven will give us success!" (Neh. 2:20)

Notice he says 'us'? I said he was only one man. Nehemiah enlisted the help of others to rebuild this wall.
Remember the requests of my crazy friends? That's what they did! They sought my help and God has promised success! Remember I said that I was not in any shape to be helping anyone? If Nehemiah could claim God's perfect strength long before Paul's struggles, then surely I can claim it long after! God provided all four of us friends with His strength in the form of each other; all struggling with the same holes in our walls and the same weaknesses. THAT is the God I know and love so well!

Well, as stunning as that all is to me, there is more to it if you can belive that! This whole thing lines up directly with the re-building of our farm. I didn't see it till this morning after I asked God how following Him through this Self-control thing had anything to do with our current state of affairs. Cuz frankly, I just don't have it in me to deal with more than this crisis!

True to form, He answered and amazed me. I'll post more about that answer another time.

Flipping further ahead in Nehemiah, it says this upon completion of the wall:

"When all our enemies heard about this, all the surrounding nations were afraid and lost their self-confidence, because they realized that this work had been done with the help of our God."
Neh. 6:16

Let's get stared on that wall girls, so we can be a little more "Daniel" about things!