We have snow! The landscape of the prairies is turning into a winter wonderland.
Don't scoff at me! I can see you rolling your eyes at me cuz you braved the 60 km winds this weekend. But really, bare with me here - if I'm not gonna look at it as "winter wonderland"...WHO COULD TAKE IT FOR 5 MONTHS!?!!!!!!!!!
Well, as the months roll on and the season changes, God is continuing to prove His faithfulness. I am working really hard at getting up in what feels like the wee hours of the morning and consistently taking the time to pour out my sin, let Him pour the good stuff into me and worshipping Him for who He is.
Figuring out who God is had been a bit of a challenge for me. I know Him by what He DOES for me! He's been a genie of sorts, much to my shame. I am reading through Psalms and I repeat to God what David said to Him so long ago. The More I learn about His characteristics, the more of Him I can picture in my mind's eye.
Sometimes I can see Him laughing at me - like I mean all out, guffawing cuz it takes me awhile to get out of idiot mode. Then other times I know He weeps over my sin. Still other times, He waits patiently as I sort out the sin that I JUST repented of 15 seconds ago! I can't imagine how frustrated He is with me some times...ok, lots of times!
The times I love is when I can see Him smiling at me. The times He says He is pleased with me. The times He says He loves me no matter what.
If there is one thing my "un-farm" has brought me to, it's a sweeter relationship with my Jesus. I've hunted for jobs, gone to battle for my depression, pinched pennies, reorganized some priorities, mostly, making time for Him. All I have is Him.
The age old Proverb " Trust in the Lord your God with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding and He will make your path straight" is my mainstay. I don't understand any of this. I don't get the global economic crisis we're in. I don't get the odd weather patterns the world is experiencing. War? Nope. Don't understand that either. Are Harper and Obama great leaders? Who knows? Least of all, is my understanding of my own personal financial crisis.
When it comes to my own little world, a year ago I would have said that get it! I get stability! Trust in the Lord with all your heart?....Hmmm. Not so much back then. Lean not on your own understanding?.....ohhhh, a whole lotta leanin' goin' on!
As far as the straight path...
I think there are a few bends in the road that need to be worked out, but one by one, we're straightening out some.
If I had the chance to go back to the way it was a year ago, I'm not so sure I'd jump at it. Even if God chooses to bless us by way of making our farm prosperous again, it would have to look a lot different! I just can't imagine not having the Holy Spirit filling every corner, every space, nook and cranny.
Nope. The way it was before just isn't good enough.
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