The Experiment

We are struggling to warm up here on the open prairies, but when that sun streams through my window in the morning, I see hope for warmer weather.


And I hope it will be here soon, cuz I got a little project goin' on!


The other day, my youngest daughter came home from school with info about a "super run" taking place on Father's day. They would be training at school for this 2.6 mile run and she needed permission to take part. I asked her if parents could join in. On the run, yes, but in the school training, no. I signed her permission slip and thought about the possibility of participating in this run with her.


What you need to know is this: I HATE RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


I'm sure I'm allergic to it.


I decided to see if I could even do this thing, so the next morning, I set about the task of running up and down my driveway. Our driveway is a long, winding lane and I do not care to run down the country roads cuz no one slows down and you end up eating gravel for breakfast - minerals; yum!


As I began this little test run, I had one thing on my mind. My baby girl.


I ran a little further. I thought back to a time - over 10 years ago, when I found out I would have a baby - again. I had a four month old and a two year old already. I can't describe the shock and the devastation I had felt.


A few steps more. I remembered how I had begged God to change His mind. My sisters, parents and in-laws wondered how, in God's sovereignty, this would ever be a blessing as they watched me in my despair.


Almost at the end of the drive now. I recalled questioning God - Why? He knew I couldn't do it! I was already drowning in depression.


Making my way back to the house now. Nine months later, God hadn't changed His mind. This baby girl would be here soon.


I am pacing myself. (Hmm...maybe I can do this thing?) I remembered her birth. What should I name this pretty newborn?

Taking deep breaths, I kept going. My memories kept going too. I remembered that I had kept going in that dark time too; trying to keep my head above the sea of diapers, bottles and sleeplessness.


I smiled a little as I rounded the drive at the house and started back up the lane. My baby's angelic little face filled my memory.


As I continued on, a timeline of pictures flashed in my mind's eye to the rhythm of my foot fall.

My steady cadence brought me back around at the house. I CAN do this thing!!!!


If you could have watched me on my experimental run, you would have seen the strangest sight - there I was, running along, alternating between tears and grins. Suddenly, I knew every step matched those early years of my life with her and just like my jog, somewhere along the way, I knew I would be fine!


I raised my hands in joy. I took deep breaths as my steps faltered. I wanted to stop and fall to my knees as a flood of revelation washed over me. God knew! I gulped for air as the tears threatened and I asked God, in His mercy, to forgive me for not truly trusting Him with His plan. He knew that this gorgeous little girl; this intense ray of sunshine; this jumping bean with her ever-ready hugs and smiles would one day play a part in my victory walk!


While God has delivered me from depression, it is up to me to stay delivered. He has since made it clear to me, that caring for my body; His temple, is the key. This means proper diet and exercise, which is really nothing new to me, however, I have had much difficulty embracing this over the course of my life.


I do not love exercise.


I do love my family.


My little trial run was inspired by my baby girl. In that half hour, not once did I think about the fact that I have to do this, or wonder when it would be over! I was enjoying myself; picturing her and I plodding along together in a sea of runners.

Psalm 139:1-2, 16
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before they came to be."


That is victory! If God had not planned her as a part of my life, I would not have been able to rise above what I have to do, and feel the sheer satisfaction of simply enjoying every aspect of life - yes, even jogging a little!


God knew way back then; long before even I was born, how much I would need her! And just like He did with her sisters, He created her to enrich my life. He created me with a space in my heart that only this energizer bunny could fill!