It is sooooooo good to be back on my blog! I'd like to say that my absence is evidence of bliss (not blogging means no issues), but the truth is, while life has been handing me lemons, it's been taking a lot of time, effort and tears turning them into lemonade!
A year has come and gone with no hope of ever returning to hog farming. It seems every day there is a new monkey wrench in my lemonade! There really seems to be no reason to hang on to this farm. 9 - 5 jobs will not pay the property tax, debt-forgiveness tax (yes, there is such a thing), larger than average hydro bills, lagoon decommissioning, not to mention, who in the world has the time to mow acres of grass or the money to care for the equipment?!?????
"Not I," said the woman!
All this along with two computer crashes and a car accident involving a bear (yes, a real one) is almost more than I can take! And let's not even get into the community minor hockey stuff - I don't know why they call it an "arena" when they should just cut to the chase and call it a circus. The clowns and three-ring acts are in abundance!
I'd like to stand on top of the tallest building in the world and scream "NO! I'm not fine!" But then, no one would be able to hear little bitty me all the way up there anyway. Oh, the futility!!!
In all of this, as always, once I've fished the monkey wrenches out of my lemonade, there are some sweet sips.
Our 13 year old daughter was baptized this weekend! Wow! I feel so humbled and truly blessed that in this highly stressful time which just seems to intensify my poor parenting skills, that she would choose this! I have not done anything to contribute to this act of obedience.
In fact, I am very sure, that if I look down, I will see one set of footprints in the sand, because God is carrying me. I only hope that He will not drop me on my butt, throw up His hands and say "Well fine then, you stubborn human! Have your way! You carve out your own path!" I pray that I am teachable!
Another bright spot is my new job. YES! I said NEW JOB! God has provided me with the best job EVER!!!!!!! Not only am I "Roxanna May of the Prairies," I am now also "Roxanna May of Canadian Lifelight Ministries!" I work in a ministry! You know how when Jesus went to the disciples like Peter, and said "You are not Simon, you are called Peter?" Well, corny as it is, that's kinda how I feel! This is my new identity. My new job is a representative of me, and I am a representative of Christ. Oh my. What a responsibility! I am so humbled to have been bestowed this new name, and so honored to proclaim it!
All I have wanted to do for the last year is cry. I am ready to fall apart at any and every moment. I feel apart at our Lifelight board meeting, in front of people I had never met! For heaven sakes, the timing couldn't have been worse!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to cry for various reasons- pain, sorrow, frustration, joy, praise and worship. Lately, I can hardly keep it together in church! I wish there were no chairs, cuz during worship, I just want to fall on my face in reverence and worship of my Lord, Savior and Sovereign King. Raising my hands just doesn't cut it cuz my unworthiness of His favor is more at floor-level!
I'm settled in the arms of my Lord, who is walking along, carrying me forward.
I am sharing my lemonade with Him!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
Summer's Gone!
Yep!
It's been a while! Not on purpose this time. I can't tell you how I have been itching to get onto this thing, but life around here cranks up a notch when school is out!
This summer has been a wild ride! A lot of waiting. A lot of wanting. A lot of whining too! When life as you know it hangs in the balance, it is hard not to whine! However, God has taught me more this summer than I could ever have imagined. He has also blessed me more than I could ever have imagined.
First of all, this prairie weather has been crazy! I just gotta get that off my chest. I know, I blog about the weather a lot, but I'm sure I'm not alone in shaking my head over this frigid summer we have had!
I remember a few summers ago, overhearing a mom and daughter in a clothing store. The girl was wowed by a stack of gorgeous jeans and mentioned to her mom that she would loooove a pair.
To this, the mom replied, "It's summer! We don't wear jeans in summer!"
To this, Roxanna May of the Prairies thought, "Umm.... how long have you lived here?!!!!"
This summer has definitely been the "year of the pants!"
For me, the summer really kicked off on Father's Day. That was the day of the Super Run.
YES. I DID IT!
Running this race was huge for me! I know it was only 2.6 miles, but in my eyes, it was darn near around the world!!!!! I even asked for prayer for this cuz I was so petrified that I would not be able to do it! I desperately wanted God to care about this little thing!
You see, I have had issues in the past when it comes to completing things; finishing what I started. I go full steam ahead with a "great idea" and then I come to a stand still because I can't get around, over or under an obstacle.
When I asked for prayer, it was in a group setting at a church retreat. I was paired with 3 women I knew in name only. After the prayer, a word from the Lord was spoken over me by one woman and scripture was given to me by another.
The word spoken was:
Completing this run would open doors to tackling and completing other things in my life because I would have the confidence to succeed instead of the fear of failure.
The scripture was:
Hebrews 6:11&12
" We want each of you to show the same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."
Hebrews 12:12&13
"Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disables, but rather healed."
I poured over and journalled about this scripture as I counted down the days to the big race. I wrestled with backing out of the race because I was so afraid of failing and disappointing my baby girl. But no, that would have have been the bigger disappointment to her.
I prayed daily. I ran daily. I chewed on scripture daily. I thought about crossing the finish line with my girl. I kept on keeping on.
The words spoken over me and the scripture that agreed, revealed to me in 2.6 miles what the race of our lives is supposed to look like:
...show the same diligence...do not become lazy...imitate those who have inherited what was promised.
The only reason I could get thorough those miles was because when I wanted to give up, I didn't.
...strengthen your feeble arm and weak knees...make level paths...so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Race day came. Much to my surprise, it was ME encouraging and poking my 10 year old running partner across the finish line!
We finished the race together that day. I would have carried her across that finish line if I had to.
And THAT, my friends, is how we are to run this mortal race of life. What a lesson. I will never forget it! I am diligently working to apply it to every area of my life. I am humbly asking God to strengthen me when I want to quit.
I have a prize to inherit.
And I want to help others inherit it too.
I'm headed out for a run now!
It's been a while! Not on purpose this time. I can't tell you how I have been itching to get onto this thing, but life around here cranks up a notch when school is out!
This summer has been a wild ride! A lot of waiting. A lot of wanting. A lot of whining too! When life as you know it hangs in the balance, it is hard not to whine! However, God has taught me more this summer than I could ever have imagined. He has also blessed me more than I could ever have imagined.
First of all, this prairie weather has been crazy! I just gotta get that off my chest. I know, I blog about the weather a lot, but I'm sure I'm not alone in shaking my head over this frigid summer we have had!
I remember a few summers ago, overhearing a mom and daughter in a clothing store. The girl was wowed by a stack of gorgeous jeans and mentioned to her mom that she would loooove a pair.
To this, the mom replied, "It's summer! We don't wear jeans in summer!"
To this, Roxanna May of the Prairies thought, "Umm.... how long have you lived here?!!!!"
This summer has definitely been the "year of the pants!"
For me, the summer really kicked off on Father's Day. That was the day of the Super Run.
YES. I DID IT!
Running this race was huge for me! I know it was only 2.6 miles, but in my eyes, it was darn near around the world!!!!! I even asked for prayer for this cuz I was so petrified that I would not be able to do it! I desperately wanted God to care about this little thing!
You see, I have had issues in the past when it comes to completing things; finishing what I started. I go full steam ahead with a "great idea" and then I come to a stand still because I can't get around, over or under an obstacle.
When I asked for prayer, it was in a group setting at a church retreat. I was paired with 3 women I knew in name only. After the prayer, a word from the Lord was spoken over me by one woman and scripture was given to me by another.
The word spoken was:
Completing this run would open doors to tackling and completing other things in my life because I would have the confidence to succeed instead of the fear of failure.
The scripture was:
Hebrews 6:11&12
" We want each of you to show the same diligence to the very end, in order to make your hope sure. We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised."
Hebrews 12:12&13
"Therefore, strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees. Make level paths for your feet so that the lame may not be disables, but rather healed."
I poured over and journalled about this scripture as I counted down the days to the big race. I wrestled with backing out of the race because I was so afraid of failing and disappointing my baby girl. But no, that would have have been the bigger disappointment to her.
I prayed daily. I ran daily. I chewed on scripture daily. I thought about crossing the finish line with my girl. I kept on keeping on.
The words spoken over me and the scripture that agreed, revealed to me in 2.6 miles what the race of our lives is supposed to look like:
...show the same diligence...do not become lazy...imitate those who have inherited what was promised.
The only reason I could get thorough those miles was because when I wanted to give up, I didn't.
...strengthen your feeble arm and weak knees...make level paths...so that the lame may not be disabled, but rather healed.
Race day came. Much to my surprise, it was ME encouraging and poking my 10 year old running partner across the finish line!
We finished the race together that day. I would have carried her across that finish line if I had to.
And THAT, my friends, is how we are to run this mortal race of life. What a lesson. I will never forget it! I am diligently working to apply it to every area of my life. I am humbly asking God to strengthen me when I want to quit.
I have a prize to inherit.
And I want to help others inherit it too.
I'm headed out for a run now!
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Sifting of Peter and Roxanna
Generally in the prairies we are the recipients of four seasons -spring, summer, fall and winter. However, so far, it seems that this is the summer that will never be! Apparently the weekend is supposed to be fantastic, but I have no intentions of holding my breath for that!
There is another season to be explored.
It is called "sifting."
In the chapter of Luke, Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked to have access to him and will be "sifted as wheat."
I have heard or seen brief studies on this subject and from my understanding, this season will take you to the brink of all you believe and hold dear. You will at that point decide to throw in the towel that has always mopped up, cleaned and polished your faith to keep it shiny and new from day to day.
I have no doubt that I have been and still am in this fifth season. I don't entirely understand why, not to mention, Peter's experience is a bit of a mystery. Did just Peter experience this, or did some of the other disciples have to go through this too? What made Peter's story so important and compelling that Luke recorded it? Will every one of us have to endure this fifth season, or just some of us? And what, exactly, would the criteria be for one to enter into this? Is it a season you go through once, or multiple times?
I have full intentions of studying this further because if I am in this, I want to know why, and I want to make sure that this season was worth going through.
There is another season to be explored.
It is called "sifting."
In the chapter of Luke, Jesus tells Peter that Satan has asked to have access to him and will be "sifted as wheat."
I have heard or seen brief studies on this subject and from my understanding, this season will take you to the brink of all you believe and hold dear. You will at that point decide to throw in the towel that has always mopped up, cleaned and polished your faith to keep it shiny and new from day to day.
I have no doubt that I have been and still am in this fifth season. I don't entirely understand why, not to mention, Peter's experience is a bit of a mystery. Did just Peter experience this, or did some of the other disciples have to go through this too? What made Peter's story so important and compelling that Luke recorded it? Will every one of us have to endure this fifth season, or just some of us? And what, exactly, would the criteria be for one to enter into this? Is it a season you go through once, or multiple times?
I have full intentions of studying this further because if I am in this, I want to know why, and I want to make sure that this season was worth going through.
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Kidz!
It's been awhile since I've written anything about my kids. If you think I've forgotten that I have some, you are slightly misguided! Kids never let you forget about them! They are one investment you will continue to contribute to for the rest of your life! And in my humble opinion, that is the one to concentrate on.
Running a farm has been all-consuming. We all have to work to pay the bills and we all love our extras - pools, trips, campers, cars, ATVs...name your drug of choice. Because we actually live on the farm site, we have also had the privilege of farming together as a family. The girls have earned money helping out in and out of the barn. There are times when it's great to have family and work run into each other, but there are times you realize you've given waaaaaaaay more to the farm than to the kids. And it shows!
In having to consciously downsize, the luxury of cable TV has had to go. At first I thought it would be a tough adjustment. And truly, on rainy days it is. I am amazed at what we have accomplished as a family in the absence of the boob tube. We have had more cards made, more homework done, more forts built, more trampoline games made up, more pictures taken and videos made...the list goes on.
Along with no cable, my poor dishwasher has died. We have been hand washing dishes for about a month, and let me tell you, a dishwasher can never get your dishes as clean as three girls can! Yes. Dishes are their duty. They must learn to wash, dry, put things away in an orderly fashion and do it all without screaming, stomping, tattling or sticking their tongues out at each other.
Ahhh.....cute, sweet rosy-cheeked children. What an investment!!!!!!
We have discovered that a little goes a long way. All our kids want is time. In the mind of kids, time is equal to love. I can get away with spending a lot less on video games, toys and trendy clothes if I take time to talk laugh and pray with my girls. I think we are all learning that we can live on a lot less. I would rather live in a small home bursting with love than a big one that echos with the sound of loneliness.
The things we have learned and are still learning through this whole ordeal of losing our farm are priceless truths that I could not have known otherwise. While the lessons are hard and the cost is high, I believe we are blessed.
Running a farm has been all-consuming. We all have to work to pay the bills and we all love our extras - pools, trips, campers, cars, ATVs...name your drug of choice. Because we actually live on the farm site, we have also had the privilege of farming together as a family. The girls have earned money helping out in and out of the barn. There are times when it's great to have family and work run into each other, but there are times you realize you've given waaaaaaaay more to the farm than to the kids. And it shows!
In having to consciously downsize, the luxury of cable TV has had to go. At first I thought it would be a tough adjustment. And truly, on rainy days it is. I am amazed at what we have accomplished as a family in the absence of the boob tube. We have had more cards made, more homework done, more forts built, more trampoline games made up, more pictures taken and videos made...the list goes on.
Along with no cable, my poor dishwasher has died. We have been hand washing dishes for about a month, and let me tell you, a dishwasher can never get your dishes as clean as three girls can! Yes. Dishes are their duty. They must learn to wash, dry, put things away in an orderly fashion and do it all without screaming, stomping, tattling or sticking their tongues out at each other.
Ahhh.....cute, sweet rosy-cheeked children. What an investment!!!!!!
We have discovered that a little goes a long way. All our kids want is time. In the mind of kids, time is equal to love. I can get away with spending a lot less on video games, toys and trendy clothes if I take time to talk laugh and pray with my girls. I think we are all learning that we can live on a lot less. I would rather live in a small home bursting with love than a big one that echos with the sound of loneliness.
The things we have learned and are still learning through this whole ordeal of losing our farm are priceless truths that I could not have known otherwise. While the lessons are hard and the cost is high, I believe we are blessed.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Will the Real Prosperity PLEASE Stand Up!
You know how when you are "in" something, you notice how so many others around you are "in" the same thing? What I mean is, if you have red hair, you notice how many redheads there are. If you have cancer, well, everyone else seems to have it too!
The same holds true for this personal recession I'm in....the whole world is in a recession! I can personally identify with GM! How ridiculous is that!?!
However, there is one thing that I'm NOT seeing a lot of.
The real prosperity message.
Matthew 19:21-23
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."
I have read book after book that has the underlying theme that if you have faith and follow Christ, He will prosper you. While it's true that most of these God-fearing Christian writers are heartfelt about being open to receive God's prosperity here on earth, what about the treasure in heaven part? Scripture makes it clear that we can not serve both Him and money.
The young man in these verses went away sad because he was asked to give up what to us, here in North America, seems to be the very nature of prosperity.
In having to deal with the fact that the hog industry is worse than worse, we are having to make the very real decisions on what to sell, who to pay and will there be any money left. Will we stay living here? What will the bank do with us?
I was stunned to realize how much I identified with the young man....and I don't even have great wealth!!!!! I began to realize how much I love my stuff! I always thought that yeah, I liked it, but I could part with it at any time. I don't really have anything too crazy - like a Mercedes, and the last time I checked, I was not dripping in diamonds, nor is my jewelry box busting with baubles! We have lived a fairly modest, comfortable life, splurging on a thing or two, but certainly not rivalling any incomes coming out of Hollywood!
Now, don't get me wrong. The bank has not forced us into any of this...yet. We are voluntarily looking at our situation and wondering what we can do to downsize. Nor are we doing this because God called us to....or?
Why is it so hard for a rich man to get to heaven? Doesn't he have the same opportunity to salvation as a poor man? And where is the prosperity in being poor!?
I was amazed at how wrapped up I am in my stuff. Not only do I like it, but trying to get rid of it is insane! Talk about eating up a lot of time and energy! To sell things, you have to get a picture, place an ad, put it on-line.....now what about closing up accounts and getting the once-necessary equipment moved off your yard...and trades to come in and to do due diligence so that all environmental, building, electrical and plumbing passes code? You spend a lot of time on the phone, driving to places of business, signing papers - and I'm up to my eyeballs with little notes here and there of pertinent information.
On first glance at young man's sadness, I thought that his issue was perhaps parting with his favorite camel collection or race-donkey. Later on, when I read the passage again, after going through a day of lightening our own load, I realized something else. It's not easy. It is very difficult to go through the process of selling, cancelling and closing.
This passage says that he had great wealth. It does not say that he was sitting on top of a pile of cold hard cash...or coin. The sheer effort that it would take for this man to sell all his 'great wealth' would be enough to make him cry!
Now, I realize that there was no GM corp. or AIG or anything like that, but you can be sure that even in the bible days, business was business! Business is rarely simple.
Once I saw this, I realized that I had idols in my life that I wasn't even aware of! If God were actually calling me in a loud voice from heaven to sell my great wealth and follow Him to where ever, it would be really easy to decline, saying that it's too hard! You know, if I want to follow Jesus, I'm not sure he had plans to take my piano too! There ain't no u-hauls bound for heaven!
Somehow, I doubt that this is the prosperity Jesus had in mind for us. Yesterday as we checked stuff off our to-do list, the load lightened with every check mark. All I could see at the beginning of the day was bondage. At the end of the day, there was less of it.
I am really re-thinking the whole North American prosperity message. I know it's not wrong to have stuff, but it's easy for that stuff to have me!
Knowing what real prosperity is, is making this whole process of debt mediation and downsizing a whole lot easier to take.
May we find real prosperity as we shed the counterfeit!
The same holds true for this personal recession I'm in....the whole world is in a recession! I can personally identify with GM! How ridiculous is that!?!
However, there is one thing that I'm NOT seeing a lot of.
The real prosperity message.
Matthew 19:21-23
Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth. Then Jesus said to his disciples, "I tell you the truth, it is hard for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven."
I have read book after book that has the underlying theme that if you have faith and follow Christ, He will prosper you. While it's true that most of these God-fearing Christian writers are heartfelt about being open to receive God's prosperity here on earth, what about the treasure in heaven part? Scripture makes it clear that we can not serve both Him and money.
The young man in these verses went away sad because he was asked to give up what to us, here in North America, seems to be the very nature of prosperity.
In having to deal with the fact that the hog industry is worse than worse, we are having to make the very real decisions on what to sell, who to pay and will there be any money left. Will we stay living here? What will the bank do with us?
I was stunned to realize how much I identified with the young man....and I don't even have great wealth!!!!! I began to realize how much I love my stuff! I always thought that yeah, I liked it, but I could part with it at any time. I don't really have anything too crazy - like a Mercedes, and the last time I checked, I was not dripping in diamonds, nor is my jewelry box busting with baubles! We have lived a fairly modest, comfortable life, splurging on a thing or two, but certainly not rivalling any incomes coming out of Hollywood!
Now, don't get me wrong. The bank has not forced us into any of this...yet. We are voluntarily looking at our situation and wondering what we can do to downsize. Nor are we doing this because God called us to....or?
Why is it so hard for a rich man to get to heaven? Doesn't he have the same opportunity to salvation as a poor man? And where is the prosperity in being poor!?
I was amazed at how wrapped up I am in my stuff. Not only do I like it, but trying to get rid of it is insane! Talk about eating up a lot of time and energy! To sell things, you have to get a picture, place an ad, put it on-line.....now what about closing up accounts and getting the once-necessary equipment moved off your yard...and trades to come in and to do due diligence so that all environmental, building, electrical and plumbing passes code? You spend a lot of time on the phone, driving to places of business, signing papers - and I'm up to my eyeballs with little notes here and there of pertinent information.
On first glance at young man's sadness, I thought that his issue was perhaps parting with his favorite camel collection or race-donkey. Later on, when I read the passage again, after going through a day of lightening our own load, I realized something else. It's not easy. It is very difficult to go through the process of selling, cancelling and closing.
This passage says that he had great wealth. It does not say that he was sitting on top of a pile of cold hard cash...or coin. The sheer effort that it would take for this man to sell all his 'great wealth' would be enough to make him cry!
Now, I realize that there was no GM corp. or AIG or anything like that, but you can be sure that even in the bible days, business was business! Business is rarely simple.
Once I saw this, I realized that I had idols in my life that I wasn't even aware of! If God were actually calling me in a loud voice from heaven to sell my great wealth and follow Him to where ever, it would be really easy to decline, saying that it's too hard! You know, if I want to follow Jesus, I'm not sure he had plans to take my piano too! There ain't no u-hauls bound for heaven!
Somehow, I doubt that this is the prosperity Jesus had in mind for us. Yesterday as we checked stuff off our to-do list, the load lightened with every check mark. All I could see at the beginning of the day was bondage. At the end of the day, there was less of it.
I am really re-thinking the whole North American prosperity message. I know it's not wrong to have stuff, but it's easy for that stuff to have me!
Knowing what real prosperity is, is making this whole process of debt mediation and downsizing a whole lot easier to take.
May we find real prosperity as we shed the counterfeit!
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
Faith Like Potatoes
I am not a movie critic. In fact, there are very few movies I would ever recommend. I have to say though, that there seems to be a few more "morally fibrous" flicks out these days. The Sherwood Baptist Church has put out a few; the most notable of those right now being "Fireproof." Bishop T.D. Jakes has a couple going too. And I've been introduced to Tyler Perry movies and though I've only seen one, I loved it!
Right now, the one that has really ministered to me is "Faith Like Potatoes" based on the book and true story of Angus Buchan. While the movie is a little slow and difficult to understand due to the South African/Scottish accents, the events are nothing short of miraculous.
In a nutshell, the story is about Angus, who has lost his first farm in Zimbabwe and moves to South Africa with his three kids and very pregnant wife to start all over again.
He is working so hard and getting nowhere fast. He is angry 24/7 and has violent outbursts. While the world tells him to take tranquilizers, he refuses. Finally his wife is invited to church, they go and he turns his life to Christ.
His transformation is immediate. The pastor encourages him to tell the first three friends he sees. Not five minutes later, passing a friend on the street, he gets cold feet and says nothing. However, once he gets past that, and has found his courage, he can't be stopped!
His farm is still going nowhere and to top it of, Africa is in a drought. No one is planting. He insists that scripture is ultimately true and claims God's promise in Chronicles. He claims all promises of scripture to be true and as a result, sees miracles and is an effective evangelist, while still maintaining is first love - farming.
2 Chronicles 7:14
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
So what does this mean for me?....for our little corner of the prairies?....for our province and country? Would it be too far out to say that in our greedy, idolatrous nation of North America we could use a little knee-bending and revival?
I am not an educated or influential person, so while I can't speak for an entire nation, I can say this:
Begin with me.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24
"Faith like potatoes" is a phrase coined by a famous American lecturer who used to tell his students that they needed faith like potatoes. He meant that their faith needed to have flesh and needed substance.
Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen.”
I believe that healing is two-fold.
1) We need to turn from sin. Throughout the Old and New Testaments it is the requirement and foundation for any miracle.
2) Belief. What sort of God do we believe in? He has gifted us with a book of promises. If we think it is just a book on the best seller list, we are missing out! Why do we tend to be afraid or perhaps aloof to this confident faith? It is this faith that made the Bible even possible! If not for faith, there would not have been much to write.
This is nothing short of a challenge for me....a mountainous one. I want to believe this more than anything for my farm. All I can do is ask God to increase my faith as I humbly confess and repent of whatever it is He reveals to me....and cling to His promises.
Right now, the one that has really ministered to me is "Faith Like Potatoes" based on the book and true story of Angus Buchan. While the movie is a little slow and difficult to understand due to the South African/Scottish accents, the events are nothing short of miraculous.
In a nutshell, the story is about Angus, who has lost his first farm in Zimbabwe and moves to South Africa with his three kids and very pregnant wife to start all over again.
He is working so hard and getting nowhere fast. He is angry 24/7 and has violent outbursts. While the world tells him to take tranquilizers, he refuses. Finally his wife is invited to church, they go and he turns his life to Christ.
His transformation is immediate. The pastor encourages him to tell the first three friends he sees. Not five minutes later, passing a friend on the street, he gets cold feet and says nothing. However, once he gets past that, and has found his courage, he can't be stopped!
His farm is still going nowhere and to top it of, Africa is in a drought. No one is planting. He insists that scripture is ultimately true and claims God's promise in Chronicles. He claims all promises of scripture to be true and as a result, sees miracles and is an effective evangelist, while still maintaining is first love - farming.
2 Chronicles 7:14
"If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then will I hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and will heal their land."
So what does this mean for me?....for our little corner of the prairies?....for our province and country? Would it be too far out to say that in our greedy, idolatrous nation of North America we could use a little knee-bending and revival?
I am not an educated or influential person, so while I can't speak for an entire nation, I can say this:
Begin with me.
"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24
"Faith like potatoes" is a phrase coined by a famous American lecturer who used to tell his students that they needed faith like potatoes. He meant that their faith needed to have flesh and needed substance.
Hebrews 11:1 “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen.”
I believe that healing is two-fold.
1) We need to turn from sin. Throughout the Old and New Testaments it is the requirement and foundation for any miracle.
2) Belief. What sort of God do we believe in? He has gifted us with a book of promises. If we think it is just a book on the best seller list, we are missing out! Why do we tend to be afraid or perhaps aloof to this confident faith? It is this faith that made the Bible even possible! If not for faith, there would not have been much to write.
This is nothing short of a challenge for me....a mountainous one. I want to believe this more than anything for my farm. All I can do is ask God to increase my faith as I humbly confess and repent of whatever it is He reveals to me....and cling to His promises.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
The Gift
The gift landed on my doorstep yesterday afternoon. After allllllllllllllll my grumbling, not 24 hours later, I was the recipient of a beautiful mug with a verse on it.
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
The giver of this gift was my precious sister-in-law. There is a list a mile long that would give all the reasons that make her so special to me. However, the thing that tops this list is the fact that she is my in-law, but feels much more like a birth-sister....if that makes any sense! I know far to many families that do not get along with the "in-laws" to take this relationship lightly! I have been more than blessed as far as sisters go!
How she knew exactly what I needed, I'll never know!
I know, I know....
I can hear you say,"duh! She read your blog!"
I haven't asked her, but I kinda doubt it, cuz I think I posted it pretty late.
I don't really talk about it too much either, cuz I've got my Ladies bible study group, plus, well, that's why I blog! In fact, I am often accused with "how come you never say anything!" by my family members.
Well, whatever the case, I was really blessed by this mug. The thing that she does know, is how much I looooooove coffee! So the great thing about it, is that i can drink coffee all day long and be reminded that yes, He IS God.
......and today, I needed to be reminded to "be still" too, because all my grumping and worrying is getting me nowhere, fast!
"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10
The giver of this gift was my precious sister-in-law. There is a list a mile long that would give all the reasons that make her so special to me. However, the thing that tops this list is the fact that she is my in-law, but feels much more like a birth-sister....if that makes any sense! I know far to many families that do not get along with the "in-laws" to take this relationship lightly! I have been more than blessed as far as sisters go!
How she knew exactly what I needed, I'll never know!
I know, I know....
I can hear you say,"duh! She read your blog!"
I haven't asked her, but I kinda doubt it, cuz I think I posted it pretty late.
I don't really talk about it too much either, cuz I've got my Ladies bible study group, plus, well, that's why I blog! In fact, I am often accused with "how come you never say anything!" by my family members.
Well, whatever the case, I was really blessed by this mug. The thing that she does know, is how much I looooooove coffee! So the great thing about it, is that i can drink coffee all day long and be reminded that yes, He IS God.
......and today, I needed to be reminded to "be still" too, because all my grumping and worrying is getting me nowhere, fast!
Miracles? What Miracles?
Miracles. What are they? Have you ever seen one? What does it look like?
I am having a lot of trouble lately, defining a miracle. Heaven knows, I am in need of one!
The New Testament is full of stories of miraculous signs and wonders. Jesus healed so many people from the time of his baptism to the time of his death and Resurrection. There were people with leprosy, people who were lame, or blind or deaf and mute. There were those who were bed-ridden, on death's door. Not only did he heal, he brought the dead back to life. If he wasn't dealing with people's health issues, he was feeding multitudes, using a fish as a change purse, turning water into the choicest wine and assisting fishermen with their catch of the day. There was no shortage of miracles in the Old Testament either.
I have no trouble believing who God is. Every day I am so glad that I am one day closer to spending eternity with Him. I know every word of scripture to be true. I have heard of miracles taking place in countries where Christians are mercilessly persecuted and tortured to death. The common thread in these lives is the joy they have because they are persecuted, and, the miracles that they have witnessed which fuels their fire to keep the gospel truth alive.
So where is God in North America? Where are the miracles that the prairie farmers need? I believe to the core of my being that God can restore the hog industry, as He can the entire economy. So why isn't He? And if He is, when? Not to mention, would we notice that it was because of Him that restoration has taken place?
Again I say,
"Lord, I have heard of your fame, I stand in awe of your deeds, O God. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known." Habakkuk 3:2
Ok. well, you've heard all that blather before - I've written and prayed it so many times.
So what am I missing?
Matthew 11:20
"Then Jesus began to denounce the cities in which most of His miracles had been performed because they did not repent."
Hmm....
I wonder if we would know a miracle if we saw one!
The people of Jesus' day fell in two categories - those who believed in Him before the miracle happened, and those who did not believe in spite of His miracles.
The first set of people sought Jesus out because they had heard of His fame and believed that he could heal them. they had faith first and then they were healed.
The second set of people; the people Matthew 11:20 speaks of, never felt compelled to come to the saving grace of Jesus Christ - no matter what sort of miracle Jesus pulled out of his hat! It is this set of people that makes me wonder if we would even notice a miracle as anything remarkable. And if it was in fact remarkable, would we just rubber-neck and star-gaze?
How many times do we give everything around us credit for the workings of our world? If we are in remission from cancer, we thank the doctors. If our business is successful we chalk it up to good money management. If we have a good family life, we say we are good parents. We rely on lawyers, doctors, universities, full grocery store shelves, our jobs and ultimately, ourselves, far sooner than we rely on our Great God.
How can God compete with that, when we see ourselves as having everything under control, to the point of not even being able to recognize a miracle as exactly that? No matter what seems to hit the evening news, we would find a logical way to explain the phenomenon or, if it was a truly odd occurrence, we would wonder at the validity of it. We have gone so far to strip Jesus of the miracles he performed, that there are prominent bible colleges which actually teach the "logics" of them!
I am not entirely dumbfounded at the state our country is in. Not because God had given me any sort of revelation - in fact, I'm quite sure I have missed or explained away any number of miracles!
I just wonder how closely we would fit the description in Matthew 11:20
I am having a lot of trouble lately, defining a miracle. Heaven knows, I am in need of one!
The New Testament is full of stories of miraculous signs and wonders. Jesus healed so many people from the time of his baptism to the time of his death and Resurrection. There were people with leprosy, people who were lame, or blind or deaf and mute. There were those who were bed-ridden, on death's door. Not only did he heal, he brought the dead back to life. If he wasn't dealing with people's health issues, he was feeding multitudes, using a fish as a change purse, turning water into the choicest wine and assisting fishermen with their catch of the day. There was no shortage of miracles in the Old Testament either.
I have no trouble believing who God is. Every day I am so glad that I am one day closer to spending eternity with Him. I know every word of scripture to be true. I have heard of miracles taking place in countries where Christians are mercilessly persecuted and tortured to death. The common thread in these lives is the joy they have because they are persecuted, and, the miracles that they have witnessed which fuels their fire to keep the gospel truth alive.
So where is God in North America? Where are the miracles that the prairie farmers need? I believe to the core of my being that God can restore the hog industry, as He can the entire economy. So why isn't He? And if He is, when? Not to mention, would we notice that it was because of Him that restoration has taken place?
Again I say,
"Lord, I have heard of your fame, I stand in awe of your deeds, O God. Renew them in our day, in our time make them known." Habakkuk 3:2
Ok. well, you've heard all that blather before - I've written and prayed it so many times.
So what am I missing?
Matthew 11:20
"Then Jesus began to denounce the cities in which most of His miracles had been performed because they did not repent."
Hmm....
I wonder if we would know a miracle if we saw one!
The people of Jesus' day fell in two categories - those who believed in Him before the miracle happened, and those who did not believe in spite of His miracles.
The first set of people sought Jesus out because they had heard of His fame and believed that he could heal them. they had faith first and then they were healed.
The second set of people; the people Matthew 11:20 speaks of, never felt compelled to come to the saving grace of Jesus Christ - no matter what sort of miracle Jesus pulled out of his hat! It is this set of people that makes me wonder if we would even notice a miracle as anything remarkable. And if it was in fact remarkable, would we just rubber-neck and star-gaze?
How many times do we give everything around us credit for the workings of our world? If we are in remission from cancer, we thank the doctors. If our business is successful we chalk it up to good money management. If we have a good family life, we say we are good parents. We rely on lawyers, doctors, universities, full grocery store shelves, our jobs and ultimately, ourselves, far sooner than we rely on our Great God.
How can God compete with that, when we see ourselves as having everything under control, to the point of not even being able to recognize a miracle as exactly that? No matter what seems to hit the evening news, we would find a logical way to explain the phenomenon or, if it was a truly odd occurrence, we would wonder at the validity of it. We have gone so far to strip Jesus of the miracles he performed, that there are prominent bible colleges which actually teach the "logics" of them!
I am not entirely dumbfounded at the state our country is in. Not because God had given me any sort of revelation - in fact, I'm quite sure I have missed or explained away any number of miracles!
I just wonder how closely we would fit the description in Matthew 11:20
Tuesday, May 12, 2009
I'm Crabbing Out!
I'm usually a "silver lining" kinda gal.
I believe God.
I do not believe in coincidence.
I believe that my life has been predestined ultimately for eternity with Him (it is up to every individual to decide whether or not to accept that predestination.) I also believe that based on our gifts and talents, God has an earthly plan for us, of which the main point is to bring as many people with us to eternity as we can!
The trouble is, these days, my silver lining seems to be fading a little.
It's been slowly fading for awhile, but I am always careful to remind myself of the fact that God is in complete control of the situation at hand, and He is neither shocked, weary or feeling out of sorts like I am.
For whatever reason, I seem to be unable to score a job of any kind. Again, it is not lost on me that God is in control.
So.... based on the characteristics and talents that God has gifted me with, I am spending a lot of time volunteering my services in whatever way I can - praying for others, spending time with friends, encouraging them, playing taxi, cleaning or organizing homes, making meals and babysitting my dear little niece. Not to mention, my mom's radiation has started, so there's more taxi role-play coming up!
Now, I get that these are all "good" things. This is not a pat-my-back or toot-my-own-horn session, so just hang with me here-
Through this life crisis which is very quickly equalling a financial crisis, I have relied heavily on God to provide for me and the Holy Spirit to pour into me so I can pour into others. It seems to have brought me to a very strange place. Over the course of the last few weeks, while my get-up-and-go is getting-up-and-leaving, dear friends have made the comment that because of how I function on a day-to-day basis, they just simply did not realize how bad things really were.
I kinda waffle back and forth between:
1) Good! That means the Spirit is filling me and I am not behaving like a victim of my circumstance.
...and
2) SOMEBODY please notice my ailing spirit and send me a pick-me-up!.... I love gerbras!!! LOL
I know, I know. I am sounding sooooooooo not spiritual AT ALL. This is where my silver lining gets a little foggy. While I LOVE filling needs that I see and enjoy the flexibility to be able to do so (which I couldn't if I was working), I sometimes wonder when MY needs will be met - like maybe restoration for my farm!?!!!!!
I want to serve. I love to help. I live for encouraging others. What I hate is feeling like I'm just not that strong. When is MY world going to be righted? WILL it ever be righted? And if people could see me in my four walls, they might wonder what happened to my spiritual ardor! Is it always necessary to be so strong? Is that my job now? I don't want to let anyone down. I don't want them to know that I fall sometimes....and get crabby! Yes, I'm feeling a little Israelite-ish, and grumping away here.
Exodus 16:9
'Come before the Lord, for he has heard your grumbling.'
I just might be in for a holy spanking!
I believe God.
I do not believe in coincidence.
I believe that my life has been predestined ultimately for eternity with Him (it is up to every individual to decide whether or not to accept that predestination.) I also believe that based on our gifts and talents, God has an earthly plan for us, of which the main point is to bring as many people with us to eternity as we can!
The trouble is, these days, my silver lining seems to be fading a little.
It's been slowly fading for awhile, but I am always careful to remind myself of the fact that God is in complete control of the situation at hand, and He is neither shocked, weary or feeling out of sorts like I am.
For whatever reason, I seem to be unable to score a job of any kind. Again, it is not lost on me that God is in control.
So.... based on the characteristics and talents that God has gifted me with, I am spending a lot of time volunteering my services in whatever way I can - praying for others, spending time with friends, encouraging them, playing taxi, cleaning or organizing homes, making meals and babysitting my dear little niece. Not to mention, my mom's radiation has started, so there's more taxi role-play coming up!
Now, I get that these are all "good" things. This is not a pat-my-back or toot-my-own-horn session, so just hang with me here-
Through this life crisis which is very quickly equalling a financial crisis, I have relied heavily on God to provide for me and the Holy Spirit to pour into me so I can pour into others. It seems to have brought me to a very strange place. Over the course of the last few weeks, while my get-up-and-go is getting-up-and-leaving, dear friends have made the comment that because of how I function on a day-to-day basis, they just simply did not realize how bad things really were.
I kinda waffle back and forth between:
1) Good! That means the Spirit is filling me and I am not behaving like a victim of my circumstance.
...and
2) SOMEBODY please notice my ailing spirit and send me a pick-me-up!.... I love gerbras!!! LOL
I know, I know. I am sounding sooooooooo not spiritual AT ALL. This is where my silver lining gets a little foggy. While I LOVE filling needs that I see and enjoy the flexibility to be able to do so (which I couldn't if I was working), I sometimes wonder when MY needs will be met - like maybe restoration for my farm!?!!!!!
I want to serve. I love to help. I live for encouraging others. What I hate is feeling like I'm just not that strong. When is MY world going to be righted? WILL it ever be righted? And if people could see me in my four walls, they might wonder what happened to my spiritual ardor! Is it always necessary to be so strong? Is that my job now? I don't want to let anyone down. I don't want them to know that I fall sometimes....and get crabby! Yes, I'm feeling a little Israelite-ish, and grumping away here.
Exodus 16:9
'Come before the Lord, for he has heard your grumbling.'
I just might be in for a holy spanking!
Saturday, May 2, 2009
The Experiment
We are struggling to warm up here on the open prairies, but when that sun streams through my window in the morning, I see hope for warmer weather.
And I hope it will be here soon, cuz I got a little project goin' on!
The other day, my youngest daughter came home from school with info about a "super run" taking place on Father's day. They would be training at school for this 2.6 mile run and she needed permission to take part. I asked her if parents could join in. On the run, yes, but in the school training, no. I signed her permission slip and thought about the possibility of participating in this run with her.
What you need to know is this: I HATE RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure I'm allergic to it.
I decided to see if I could even do this thing, so the next morning, I set about the task of running up and down my driveway. Our driveway is a long, winding lane and I do not care to run down the country roads cuz no one slows down and you end up eating gravel for breakfast - minerals; yum!
As I began this little test run, I had one thing on my mind. My baby girl.
I ran a little further. I thought back to a time - over 10 years ago, when I found out I would have a baby - again. I had a four month old and a two year old already. I can't describe the shock and the devastation I had felt.
A few steps more. I remembered how I had begged God to change His mind. My sisters, parents and in-laws wondered how, in God's sovereignty, this would ever be a blessing as they watched me in my despair.
Almost at the end of the drive now. I recalled questioning God - Why? He knew I couldn't do it! I was already drowning in depression.
Making my way back to the house now. Nine months later, God hadn't changed His mind. This baby girl would be here soon.
I am pacing myself. (Hmm...maybe I can do this thing?) I remembered her birth. What should I name this pretty newborn?
Taking deep breaths, I kept going. My memories kept going too. I remembered that I had kept going in that dark time too; trying to keep my head above the sea of diapers, bottles and sleeplessness.
I smiled a little as I rounded the drive at the house and started back up the lane. My baby's angelic little face filled my memory.
As I continued on, a timeline of pictures flashed in my mind's eye to the rhythm of my foot fall.
My steady cadence brought me back around at the house. I CAN do this thing!!!!
If you could have watched me on my experimental run, you would have seen the strangest sight - there I was, running along, alternating between tears and grins. Suddenly, I knew every step matched those early years of my life with her and just like my jog, somewhere along the way, I knew I would be fine!
I raised my hands in joy. I took deep breaths as my steps faltered. I wanted to stop and fall to my knees as a flood of revelation washed over me. God knew! I gulped for air as the tears threatened and I asked God, in His mercy, to forgive me for not truly trusting Him with His plan. He knew that this gorgeous little girl; this intense ray of sunshine; this jumping bean with her ever-ready hugs and smiles would one day play a part in my victory walk!
While God has delivered me from depression, it is up to me to stay delivered. He has since made it clear to me, that caring for my body; His temple, is the key. This means proper diet and exercise, which is really nothing new to me, however, I have had much difficulty embracing this over the course of my life.
I do not love exercise.
I do love my family.
My little trial run was inspired by my baby girl. In that half hour, not once did I think about the fact that I have to do this, or wonder when it would be over! I was enjoying myself; picturing her and I plodding along together in a sea of runners.
Psalm 139:1-2, 16
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before they came to be."
That is victory! If God had not planned her as a part of my life, I would not have been able to rise above what I have to do, and feel the sheer satisfaction of simply enjoying every aspect of life - yes, even jogging a little!
God knew way back then; long before even I was born, how much I would need her! And just like He did with her sisters, He created her to enrich my life. He created me with a space in my heart that only this energizer bunny could fill!
And I hope it will be here soon, cuz I got a little project goin' on!
The other day, my youngest daughter came home from school with info about a "super run" taking place on Father's day. They would be training at school for this 2.6 mile run and she needed permission to take part. I asked her if parents could join in. On the run, yes, but in the school training, no. I signed her permission slip and thought about the possibility of participating in this run with her.
What you need to know is this: I HATE RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm sure I'm allergic to it.
I decided to see if I could even do this thing, so the next morning, I set about the task of running up and down my driveway. Our driveway is a long, winding lane and I do not care to run down the country roads cuz no one slows down and you end up eating gravel for breakfast - minerals; yum!
As I began this little test run, I had one thing on my mind. My baby girl.
I ran a little further. I thought back to a time - over 10 years ago, when I found out I would have a baby - again. I had a four month old and a two year old already. I can't describe the shock and the devastation I had felt.
A few steps more. I remembered how I had begged God to change His mind. My sisters, parents and in-laws wondered how, in God's sovereignty, this would ever be a blessing as they watched me in my despair.
Almost at the end of the drive now. I recalled questioning God - Why? He knew I couldn't do it! I was already drowning in depression.
Making my way back to the house now. Nine months later, God hadn't changed His mind. This baby girl would be here soon.
I am pacing myself. (Hmm...maybe I can do this thing?) I remembered her birth. What should I name this pretty newborn?
Taking deep breaths, I kept going. My memories kept going too. I remembered that I had kept going in that dark time too; trying to keep my head above the sea of diapers, bottles and sleeplessness.
I smiled a little as I rounded the drive at the house and started back up the lane. My baby's angelic little face filled my memory.
As I continued on, a timeline of pictures flashed in my mind's eye to the rhythm of my foot fall.
My steady cadence brought me back around at the house. I CAN do this thing!!!!
If you could have watched me on my experimental run, you would have seen the strangest sight - there I was, running along, alternating between tears and grins. Suddenly, I knew every step matched those early years of my life with her and just like my jog, somewhere along the way, I knew I would be fine!
I raised my hands in joy. I took deep breaths as my steps faltered. I wanted to stop and fall to my knees as a flood of revelation washed over me. God knew! I gulped for air as the tears threatened and I asked God, in His mercy, to forgive me for not truly trusting Him with His plan. He knew that this gorgeous little girl; this intense ray of sunshine; this jumping bean with her ever-ready hugs and smiles would one day play a part in my victory walk!
While God has delivered me from depression, it is up to me to stay delivered. He has since made it clear to me, that caring for my body; His temple, is the key. This means proper diet and exercise, which is really nothing new to me, however, I have had much difficulty embracing this over the course of my life.
I do not love exercise.
I do love my family.
My little trial run was inspired by my baby girl. In that half hour, not once did I think about the fact that I have to do this, or wonder when it would be over! I was enjoying myself; picturing her and I plodding along together in a sea of runners.
Psalm 139:1-2, 16
"O Lord, you have searched me and you know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before they came to be."
That is victory! If God had not planned her as a part of my life, I would not have been able to rise above what I have to do, and feel the sheer satisfaction of simply enjoying every aspect of life - yes, even jogging a little!
God knew way back then; long before even I was born, how much I would need her! And just like He did with her sisters, He created her to enrich my life. He created me with a space in my heart that only this energizer bunny could fill!
Thursday, April 30, 2009
A Note About My Mom...
Surgery day for my mom was back in March. It was a simple, clean lumpectomy with the removal of a few lymph nodes to be sent away for further testing. The operation itself was a raging success! However, we were now waiting on test results.
The procedure itself is as basic as surgeries can be, but somehow, it seemed sacrilegious to us, that after altering the most defining part that makes us women, my mother was to be shipped out promptly at closing time!
All in a day's work of day surgery!
So while my mom flapped around like a rag doll, my sister set about the task of dressing her for the trek home. Arn'tcha glad we all look the same?! And really, nothing is sacred in hospitals!
but here's the great part:
As my sister is in the final stages of dressing her, my mom's womanly essence comes shining through. She asks ....wait for it....
"Do I look all right?" and pats down her hair.
"Do I look all right?????"
My sister is rendered speechless. You can well imagine what the answer to that one is!
I have to laugh, because I can see this blank, wide-eyed stare, as she looks at mom, blinks, looks again, and wonders if it's ok to lie, cuz chances are, mom won't remember anything anyway! But then, in true christian grace, my mom flops back onto the hospital bed and exclaims, "Don't answer that," thus, redeeming my dear sister of the lie that was camping out in her head.
Yes, we all roared with laughter at the telling of this stellar moment! And how great did that feel? To be able to laugh together at the comical moments because God was so merciful to allow us to keep our mom! Many, are not so lucky. Laughter never felt so good!
God knew that I was not ready to lose my mom. Back on New Years Eve when she broke the news that she had breast cancer, I struggled deeply with the thought of losing her. While it would have been difficult on all of us, as the oldest sibling, you then become the matriarch of the family. By birthright; perhaps in theory only, but very real in my heart, you have become "it." There is no one older and wiser now; with motherly love and instinct. Oh how I praise God that I have time (hopefully a lot of it!) to work this out in my spirit.
My mom's recovery has been nothing short of a miracle. While she left the hospital armed with pain killers, she never needed them. She has chosen to go through radiation treatments and that will begin soon. The pathology report came back negative, so we are rejoicing in relief.
We are praying that the radiation will go as well as the surgery did.
Mother's day is coming up, and I have every intention of celebrating it like it's the event of the year!
note: This story has been posted with permission.
The procedure itself is as basic as surgeries can be, but somehow, it seemed sacrilegious to us, that after altering the most defining part that makes us women, my mother was to be shipped out promptly at closing time!
All in a day's work of day surgery!
So while my mom flapped around like a rag doll, my sister set about the task of dressing her for the trek home. Arn'tcha glad we all look the same?! And really, nothing is sacred in hospitals!
but here's the great part:
As my sister is in the final stages of dressing her, my mom's womanly essence comes shining through. She asks ....wait for it....
"Do I look all right?" and pats down her hair.
"Do I look all right?????"
My sister is rendered speechless. You can well imagine what the answer to that one is!
I have to laugh, because I can see this blank, wide-eyed stare, as she looks at mom, blinks, looks again, and wonders if it's ok to lie, cuz chances are, mom won't remember anything anyway! But then, in true christian grace, my mom flops back onto the hospital bed and exclaims, "Don't answer that," thus, redeeming my dear sister of the lie that was camping out in her head.
Yes, we all roared with laughter at the telling of this stellar moment! And how great did that feel? To be able to laugh together at the comical moments because God was so merciful to allow us to keep our mom! Many, are not so lucky. Laughter never felt so good!
God knew that I was not ready to lose my mom. Back on New Years Eve when she broke the news that she had breast cancer, I struggled deeply with the thought of losing her. While it would have been difficult on all of us, as the oldest sibling, you then become the matriarch of the family. By birthright; perhaps in theory only, but very real in my heart, you have become "it." There is no one older and wiser now; with motherly love and instinct. Oh how I praise God that I have time (hopefully a lot of it!) to work this out in my spirit.
My mom's recovery has been nothing short of a miracle. While she left the hospital armed with pain killers, she never needed them. She has chosen to go through radiation treatments and that will begin soon. The pathology report came back negative, so we are rejoicing in relief.
We are praying that the radiation will go as well as the surgery did.
Mother's day is coming up, and I have every intention of celebrating it like it's the event of the year!
note: This story has been posted with permission.
Waiting
I found a verse today that was at one time stuck to my fridge.
'Lord, I have heard of your fame,
I stand in awe of Your deeds, O God.
Renew them in our day,
in our time make them known.'
Habakkuk 3:2
A couple of years ago, before we had any clue what we would be up against in the world of agriculture, I took part of a bible study (yes, it was Beth Moore) that challenged my belief in God. Not only my belief in God, but did I actually believe God?
As the weeks went on and we dove head first into God's word, I started to realize that what I believed about God was utterly sub-standard. I had no expectations of Him what-so-ever! Week after week we uncovered promise after promise...WOW! I asked God to make them true for me.
Through the study, we had to memorize 5 key phrases that emphasized the truth and realities of His promises. Every week we recited them with each other out loud - like a pledge. What I loved about that, is that when we hear it enough, it becomes truth to us. This principle has been proven over and over again in the negative and we all know it has a Strong effect - to the point of shaping some of the worst parts of us. Imagine how powerful the positive, life changing, Holy Spirit-inspired version of this is!
By the time we were ready to wrap up the study, I boldly proclaimed that I wanted a front row seat to His miracles! Little did I know at the time how raw that plea was soon going to become.
"Lord, I have heard of Your fame."
No doubt, I grew up knowing all the stories - David and Goliath, Noah's Ark, Adam and Eve, Daniel in the Lion's Den, Joseph in the Well, Joshua and the Wall, The Birth of Jesus, Samson..... on and on.
"I stand in awe of Your deeds, O God."
Well, the last time I checked, I could not walk on water, spit in some one's eye and heal it, or dump someone out of their wheelchair and tell them to get up and walk! So yes, 'awe' would describe my thoughts on that to a tee!
"Renew them in our day."
Come to think of it, I haven't seen anyone do that lately in my community! You don't have to look very far to see that it would be a valid plea - poor, sick, lonely, depressed, overworked, stressed....how many people do you know like that? Yes, a miracle or two would go far in renewing and invigorating some of us!
"In our time make them known."
My front row seat is reserved. Actually, I feel like I have my own, private center-stage on this. I am in the midst of needing a miracle!
Bring it on Lord! Don't hold back on my account! I'm believing You are who You say You are! I'm believing that You can do what you said You could! So if you don't mind Lord, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting on You!
I can't wait to see this!
'Lord, I have heard of your fame,
I stand in awe of Your deeds, O God.
Renew them in our day,
in our time make them known.'
Habakkuk 3:2
A couple of years ago, before we had any clue what we would be up against in the world of agriculture, I took part of a bible study (yes, it was Beth Moore) that challenged my belief in God. Not only my belief in God, but did I actually believe God?
As the weeks went on and we dove head first into God's word, I started to realize that what I believed about God was utterly sub-standard. I had no expectations of Him what-so-ever! Week after week we uncovered promise after promise...WOW! I asked God to make them true for me.
Through the study, we had to memorize 5 key phrases that emphasized the truth and realities of His promises. Every week we recited them with each other out loud - like a pledge. What I loved about that, is that when we hear it enough, it becomes truth to us. This principle has been proven over and over again in the negative and we all know it has a Strong effect - to the point of shaping some of the worst parts of us. Imagine how powerful the positive, life changing, Holy Spirit-inspired version of this is!
By the time we were ready to wrap up the study, I boldly proclaimed that I wanted a front row seat to His miracles! Little did I know at the time how raw that plea was soon going to become.
"Lord, I have heard of Your fame."
No doubt, I grew up knowing all the stories - David and Goliath, Noah's Ark, Adam and Eve, Daniel in the Lion's Den, Joseph in the Well, Joshua and the Wall, The Birth of Jesus, Samson..... on and on.
"I stand in awe of Your deeds, O God."
Well, the last time I checked, I could not walk on water, spit in some one's eye and heal it, or dump someone out of their wheelchair and tell them to get up and walk! So yes, 'awe' would describe my thoughts on that to a tee!
"Renew them in our day."
Come to think of it, I haven't seen anyone do that lately in my community! You don't have to look very far to see that it would be a valid plea - poor, sick, lonely, depressed, overworked, stressed....how many people do you know like that? Yes, a miracle or two would go far in renewing and invigorating some of us!
"In our time make them known."
My front row seat is reserved. Actually, I feel like I have my own, private center-stage on this. I am in the midst of needing a miracle!
Bring it on Lord! Don't hold back on my account! I'm believing You are who You say You are! I'm believing that You can do what you said You could! So if you don't mind Lord, I'm sitting on the edge of my seat waiting on You!
I can't wait to see this!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
SWINE flu?!????!!!!!
OH MY.
Can you speak?!??? Swine flu???!
I can NOT think of a worse thing for this thing to be called!
They say that since it has nothing to do with pigs, it has no actual effect on the hog industry.
Ummm.....
Russia has banned the import of pork.
The future outlook on pork prices has dropped significantly.
.....and it has not affected the market!????
I'm so mad! I could......spit!
Yeah. I know that's kinda useless. I really hate being at the mercy of this hog market crisis, and this really takes the cake!
Who in the world woke up one morning and decided to call this thing swine flu! Maybe they should have called it gas and oil flu....perhaps the world would slow down a little then! LOL. Even better - how 'bout chocolate flu! Isn't that a hoot! I'd loose a few pounds in my effort to keep from getting the flu. Nice!
Don't get me wrong. I know how serious this is - especially in Mexico. Mass diseases like this are scary for everyone. The weird thing is, there are only a handful of cases here in the prairies, which are mild and most of us are outraged at the name of this global sickness!
Not only does it seem ridiculous to have this particular title, but it also takes away from the fact that it is a global illness to be reckoned with and this name alone is responsible for the rush of false information on how to deal with it. Taking the focus off the real thing is making it much more difficult to get it under control.
I know one thing. God is not the author of confusion. He can see the bigger picture of this whole thing. He can even see how this misnomer is affecting my farm and the neighbour's farm and the neighbour's, neighbour's farm and so on.
Nope. I don't get it. But God does. So I'll just keep watching the news to see what's going on.
I'll wash my hands and cough in my sleeve to try to avoid it.
And I'll try not to shake my head in wonder at this strange turn of events affecting an industry that can't take much more.
Can you speak?!??? Swine flu???!
I can NOT think of a worse thing for this thing to be called!
They say that since it has nothing to do with pigs, it has no actual effect on the hog industry.
Ummm.....
Russia has banned the import of pork.
The future outlook on pork prices has dropped significantly.
.....and it has not affected the market!????
I'm so mad! I could......spit!
Yeah. I know that's kinda useless. I really hate being at the mercy of this hog market crisis, and this really takes the cake!
Who in the world woke up one morning and decided to call this thing swine flu! Maybe they should have called it gas and oil flu....perhaps the world would slow down a little then! LOL. Even better - how 'bout chocolate flu! Isn't that a hoot! I'd loose a few pounds in my effort to keep from getting the flu. Nice!
Don't get me wrong. I know how serious this is - especially in Mexico. Mass diseases like this are scary for everyone. The weird thing is, there are only a handful of cases here in the prairies, which are mild and most of us are outraged at the name of this global sickness!
Not only does it seem ridiculous to have this particular title, but it also takes away from the fact that it is a global illness to be reckoned with and this name alone is responsible for the rush of false information on how to deal with it. Taking the focus off the real thing is making it much more difficult to get it under control.
I know one thing. God is not the author of confusion. He can see the bigger picture of this whole thing. He can even see how this misnomer is affecting my farm and the neighbour's farm and the neighbour's, neighbour's farm and so on.
Nope. I don't get it. But God does. So I'll just keep watching the news to see what's going on.
I'll wash my hands and cough in my sleeve to try to avoid it.
And I'll try not to shake my head in wonder at this strange turn of events affecting an industry that can't take much more.
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
God-Inspired
This morning I spent some time re-reading past entries.
What I saw really surprised me.
I saw a journey.
I saw God's hand.
I saw Jesus' redemption.
I saw the Holy Spirit's revelations.
As I poured over the posts, I thought to myself, "I wrote that?" Some of it is thought provoking. Some is boring. Some is confusing! However, none of it is new.
Since the beginning of the human race there has been struggle. God even got fed up enough with the whole mess of things to douse most everyone to death and start over with one family who had it in them to stick it out with the Deliverer.
No doubt, struggles continue and we are all on our own personal journey. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt where I want to be at the end of my hike here on earth. I know too, that I want to take as many people with me as I can!
While I read through what was going down in my little corner of the prairies, I felt strengthened. Strengthened because some days I am not sure how we are going to make it to the next. Some days I wake up and ask God, 'what do you have for me today?' and by the end of the day, I realize He has been silent. Reading all I've written tells me one thing -
While God may sometimes be silent, He is always working!
Writing, journaling, storytelling - these are all proof of the hope of things not seen.
My prayer is that you too, are strengthened by reflecting on what God is doing in your life.
What I saw really surprised me.
I saw a journey.
I saw God's hand.
I saw Jesus' redemption.
I saw the Holy Spirit's revelations.
As I poured over the posts, I thought to myself, "I wrote that?" Some of it is thought provoking. Some is boring. Some is confusing! However, none of it is new.
Since the beginning of the human race there has been struggle. God even got fed up enough with the whole mess of things to douse most everyone to death and start over with one family who had it in them to stick it out with the Deliverer.
No doubt, struggles continue and we are all on our own personal journey. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt where I want to be at the end of my hike here on earth. I know too, that I want to take as many people with me as I can!
While I read through what was going down in my little corner of the prairies, I felt strengthened. Strengthened because some days I am not sure how we are going to make it to the next. Some days I wake up and ask God, 'what do you have for me today?' and by the end of the day, I realize He has been silent. Reading all I've written tells me one thing -
While God may sometimes be silent, He is always working!
Writing, journaling, storytelling - these are all proof of the hope of things not seen.
My prayer is that you too, are strengthened by reflecting on what God is doing in your life.
Monday, April 27, 2009
Hello Again
Well. I'm back. I took a break from blogging. Not a planned break. Just... I don't know. I suppose I'm beginning to feel like a broken record. God is changing me so much and bringing so many new experiences in my life because of my "UN-farm" that putting it all into words, sentences and phrases that make sense is suddenly somewhat difficult.
I also struggled with whether or not writing was a waste of time. I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to get back to writing and blogging. So I asked God about it one morning. He said: "How is it a waste of time, doing something you love, for ME!" When I fleshed this out with my girlfriends on a fantastic girls weekend away, (yes, it involved shopping!) they clearly indicated that this was a no-brainer with the gentle sentiment of "give your head a shake! God's talking to you!" Hmm. Arguing with God is rough enough, never mind when your friends are in cahoots with Him too!
It is evening and I am beyond exhausted. You would think that there is simply nothing to do on an "UN-farm" yet I'm not sure I can think of too many times that have been busier than these last two months.
At this late hour in the evening (well, OK....really it's only 9:37, but I can feel my bed calling out to me!) I have no scripture to dissect or inspire me. I am loving the feeling of my fingers flying over the keys. I am relishing the string of words and sentences that give credence to thoughts and ideas that sometimes, I'm not sure I even have - save for the proof of these entries and other stories or bits of writing recorded by ink or keyboard.
It's good to be home. I have missed this. Good night.
I also struggled with whether or not writing was a waste of time. I felt the Holy Spirit prompting me to get back to writing and blogging. So I asked God about it one morning. He said: "How is it a waste of time, doing something you love, for ME!" When I fleshed this out with my girlfriends on a fantastic girls weekend away, (yes, it involved shopping!) they clearly indicated that this was a no-brainer with the gentle sentiment of "give your head a shake! God's talking to you!" Hmm. Arguing with God is rough enough, never mind when your friends are in cahoots with Him too!
It is evening and I am beyond exhausted. You would think that there is simply nothing to do on an "UN-farm" yet I'm not sure I can think of too many times that have been busier than these last two months.
At this late hour in the evening (well, OK....really it's only 9:37, but I can feel my bed calling out to me!) I have no scripture to dissect or inspire me. I am loving the feeling of my fingers flying over the keys. I am relishing the string of words and sentences that give credence to thoughts and ideas that sometimes, I'm not sure I even have - save for the proof of these entries and other stories or bits of writing recorded by ink or keyboard.
It's good to be home. I have missed this. Good night.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Food for Thought
"God does His best work when we have nothing to work with." - Me
Yep. That's my quote. Never heard anyone say it...though I'm sure someone has, so I decided to make it my own.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately because it truly feels like there is nothing left to work with. Our farm is approaching the 11th hour with ,what feels like, the speed of light. The savings that has helped us get at least this far is trickling faster than a leaky faucet. There is right now, only the miserable stuff left - the money stuff. The stuff where we have to enlist the council of, well, the bank. How helpful will that be in our economic race toward recession!?!
If I were to sit and think about it all, I might be tempted to head to the nearest cliff...There are none in the prairies! See! God is sooooooo looking out for me!
Joking aside, It is absolutely all about perspective.
Yes, the hollow buildings which used to hold our livelihood are still caverns of silence. There are many who have long since passed the place that we are at now, have lost it all and are trying to wrap their heads around their new lives - lives they had no plans for.
My heart breaks every time I turn on the news. It's not just about me. It's about the world.
The thing is, it's not about the world the way the media thinks it is and says it is. There is something so much bigger than this. But we'll never see that so-much-bigger when everything we see as important; all the stuff we have worked so hard for, is running like clockwork.
"Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you." John 6:27
This verse is so strange to me but it has become very clear to me! We need food, money and shelter to live. Our livelihood was really, to the core, laboring for food....we were in the business of feeding the world! How is it, that there seems to be more job security in being a professional athlete than in feeding the world?!?????
But what about the "food which endures." How much time and effort do we put into that? Our farm is living proof that it will all pass away. So WHY do we work so incredibly hard for what will not last?
In many parts of the world, suffering is a result of not having enough. Here, in the western world, our suffering is the result of having too much and wanting for more.
I must say that I am a very guilty party in it all. I like my stuff! I may not have a shiny new car, but I happen to like the fact that I have something to get me around! Even if it's not the biggest and the best, I am comfortable enough with my life to allow the "food which perishes" to be my primary goal.
God had to deal with that so that I would give "the food that endures" the attention it needs. I must admit, this does feel extreme to me. Why did it have to come to this? I have no answer for that one!
I have nothing left to work with. I feel blessed to have a front row seat - uncomfortable as it is(!) to the miracles that are coming my way.
Seeing this whole situation from that perspective, you'd think that 'cutting the rope' in the vision God gave me a few weeks back would be easy. That rope is really thick! I think I've started sawing away at it.... so why do I take strange comfort that if I stop soon enough, the rope will stay in tact and I can wade over to the boat and jump into it? -Just being honest. Guess we'll see how that all plays out!
Yep. That's my quote. Never heard anyone say it...though I'm sure someone has, so I decided to make it my own.
I've been thinking about that a lot lately because it truly feels like there is nothing left to work with. Our farm is approaching the 11th hour with ,what feels like, the speed of light. The savings that has helped us get at least this far is trickling faster than a leaky faucet. There is right now, only the miserable stuff left - the money stuff. The stuff where we have to enlist the council of, well, the bank. How helpful will that be in our economic race toward recession!?!
If I were to sit and think about it all, I might be tempted to head to the nearest cliff...There are none in the prairies! See! God is sooooooo looking out for me!
Joking aside, It is absolutely all about perspective.
Yes, the hollow buildings which used to hold our livelihood are still caverns of silence. There are many who have long since passed the place that we are at now, have lost it all and are trying to wrap their heads around their new lives - lives they had no plans for.
My heart breaks every time I turn on the news. It's not just about me. It's about the world.
The thing is, it's not about the world the way the media thinks it is and says it is. There is something so much bigger than this. But we'll never see that so-much-bigger when everything we see as important; all the stuff we have worked so hard for, is running like clockwork.
"Do not labor for the food which perishes, but for the food which endures to everlasting life, which the Son of Man will give you." John 6:27
This verse is so strange to me but it has become very clear to me! We need food, money and shelter to live. Our livelihood was really, to the core, laboring for food....we were in the business of feeding the world! How is it, that there seems to be more job security in being a professional athlete than in feeding the world?!?????
But what about the "food which endures." How much time and effort do we put into that? Our farm is living proof that it will all pass away. So WHY do we work so incredibly hard for what will not last?
In many parts of the world, suffering is a result of not having enough. Here, in the western world, our suffering is the result of having too much and wanting for more.
I must say that I am a very guilty party in it all. I like my stuff! I may not have a shiny new car, but I happen to like the fact that I have something to get me around! Even if it's not the biggest and the best, I am comfortable enough with my life to allow the "food which perishes" to be my primary goal.
God had to deal with that so that I would give "the food that endures" the attention it needs. I must admit, this does feel extreme to me. Why did it have to come to this? I have no answer for that one!
I have nothing left to work with. I feel blessed to have a front row seat - uncomfortable as it is(!) to the miracles that are coming my way.
Seeing this whole situation from that perspective, you'd think that 'cutting the rope' in the vision God gave me a few weeks back would be easy. That rope is really thick! I think I've started sawing away at it.... so why do I take strange comfort that if I stop soon enough, the rope will stay in tact and I can wade over to the boat and jump into it? -Just being honest. Guess we'll see how that all plays out!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Pictures From Heaven
God is so gentle. He will do things, tell you things and move you only when you are ready. And just when you think no one could ever top your 'crap', God lets you know that He's seen it ALL! You are no surprise to Him and by the way, He's had thousands of years of experience in turning personal ships around!
Yesterday, for the first time, My husband and I went to Prayer Summit at our church. It is a night of prayer and worship. The sanctuary is strewn haphazardly with small clusters of people praying with each other.
Back in November, I had asked God to give me a picture or a word about where our farm stood in the grand scheme of things - and for that matter, where did I stand? It was a picture. There I was, in dark murky water, with a boat floating a few feet away from me. The boat looked safe enough, but I wasn't really drawn to it. What I really wanted, was to walk on the water. I didn't relish being in the water, but I was at peace with it. My footing was sure and I could sense that Jesus was with me.
Last night in prayer, God brought that picture back to me and I asked Him if it had changed any. It had. Still in the water, I looked at the boat and in a flash I saw our barns in it.
I cried. 'But God! How can they be in the boat, if I don't want the boat?!??? I want to walk on water...remember?!
There was more. The boat had a rope attached to the bow and it was being held taught somehow.
I shared with my prayer partners how I felt about my farm being in the safety of the boat; completely forgetting about the rope.
We went to prayer and my partners asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to them what He wanted me to know about this.
God revealed 2 things:
1. Our farm was ok. It wasn't going to go under, get washed up or fall apart.
Well, ok. God was telling me not to worry about it.
Truly, I hadn't realized that I had been worrying. It had not really occurred to me that He wasn't going to provide.....well, ok. there are times I do worry. It's tough to get my bookwork done when all I see is money going out and none coming in. The digits in my savings are dropping! Not to mention, I was pumping out resumes as fast as I could...with no results.
So yes, I was thankful for the reminder that our farm was safe on that dark, murky water.
....but my heart still cried out....ON the water God, on THE WATER God. On the water GOD!
Enter revelation #2.
Remember the rope that I had forgotten about? My friend looked at me and said this:
"There is a thick rope attached to the boat. If you cut the rope, and turn around, you will see clear water and a paradise island, with a dock...."
Can you say STUNNED?
My throat felt kinda thick. If I cut the rope, that means the boat will float away -
with my farm in it.
I didn't want the boat!
Um...I would be lying if I said I wasn't rethinking that right now.
...but then, there's that paradise island....
Safety of the boat vs. undiscovered, blissful paradise island. Yeah, I know. The choice looks like a no-brainer. If this were a book I was penning; someone else's life-adventure, I KNOW how I'd write the ending...bon voyage to the boat!
Yesterday, for the first time, My husband and I went to Prayer Summit at our church. It is a night of prayer and worship. The sanctuary is strewn haphazardly with small clusters of people praying with each other.
Back in November, I had asked God to give me a picture or a word about where our farm stood in the grand scheme of things - and for that matter, where did I stand? It was a picture. There I was, in dark murky water, with a boat floating a few feet away from me. The boat looked safe enough, but I wasn't really drawn to it. What I really wanted, was to walk on the water. I didn't relish being in the water, but I was at peace with it. My footing was sure and I could sense that Jesus was with me.
Last night in prayer, God brought that picture back to me and I asked Him if it had changed any. It had. Still in the water, I looked at the boat and in a flash I saw our barns in it.
I cried. 'But God! How can they be in the boat, if I don't want the boat?!??? I want to walk on water...remember?!
There was more. The boat had a rope attached to the bow and it was being held taught somehow.
I shared with my prayer partners how I felt about my farm being in the safety of the boat; completely forgetting about the rope.
We went to prayer and my partners asked the Holy Spirit to reveal to them what He wanted me to know about this.
God revealed 2 things:
1. Our farm was ok. It wasn't going to go under, get washed up or fall apart.
Well, ok. God was telling me not to worry about it.
Truly, I hadn't realized that I had been worrying. It had not really occurred to me that He wasn't going to provide.....well, ok. there are times I do worry. It's tough to get my bookwork done when all I see is money going out and none coming in. The digits in my savings are dropping! Not to mention, I was pumping out resumes as fast as I could...with no results.
So yes, I was thankful for the reminder that our farm was safe on that dark, murky water.
....but my heart still cried out....ON the water God, on THE WATER God. On the water GOD!
Enter revelation #2.
Remember the rope that I had forgotten about? My friend looked at me and said this:
"There is a thick rope attached to the boat. If you cut the rope, and turn around, you will see clear water and a paradise island, with a dock...."
Can you say STUNNED?
My throat felt kinda thick. If I cut the rope, that means the boat will float away -
with my farm in it.
I didn't want the boat!
Um...I would be lying if I said I wasn't rethinking that right now.
...but then, there's that paradise island....
Safety of the boat vs. undiscovered, blissful paradise island. Yeah, I know. The choice looks like a no-brainer. If this were a book I was penning; someone else's life-adventure, I KNOW how I'd write the ending...bon voyage to the boat!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
What God is Accomplishing in My Little Corner of the Prairies
When I was little, my favorite show on TV was "Little House on the Prairie." I still try to find it on the tube sometimes! I loved how every milestone, celebration, hardship, tragedy and weekly trek to their little church brought families and communities together.
Lately, I feel like I'm in my very own episode - sans over-sized dresses!!!!
I have asked God over the years to do a work in my family - my kids, my siblings and parents, and even wider spread, my mom's family.
Every time I went to God specifically for my husband and kids, God would ask me "Are you ready for the ride? Are you ready for what this will require of you!?" I was always quick to answer - of course!.....
Hmmm...
Well, here I am with one thing after another. It seems my still-empty farm is not enough and this hockey season has been worthy of prime-time Emmy awards, with more drama than I ever thought possible!
Here's the topper -
My mom has cancer. Breast cancer. She was diagnosed on New Year's Eve. The praise part would be that it is category 1; which is the lowest of the low. The part that is difficult is that no matter how minimal the cancer is, you still have to go through all the treatment...surgery, radiation and possibly chemo.
This is the first time I have put it in writing. It took a bit to talk about it too. Cancer. It's such an ugly word, and difficult to spit out. In a string of prayer request that I have shared over the years, I think the hardest thing to date, is to say is 'my mom has cancer.'
Here's what I do know -
I was NOT ready for the ride.
Here is the other thing I know -
I wouldn't change any of this for the world!
I have seen my kids grow in Christ. I have watched hockey parents change and come together and pray for our mini NHLers. I have had moments with my mom and my siblings that are only possible when Christ is the focus.
I hate the tragic parts, but I love what God does with them.
Lately, I feel like I'm in my very own episode - sans over-sized dresses!!!!
I have asked God over the years to do a work in my family - my kids, my siblings and parents, and even wider spread, my mom's family.
Every time I went to God specifically for my husband and kids, God would ask me "Are you ready for the ride? Are you ready for what this will require of you!?" I was always quick to answer - of course!.....
Hmmm...
Well, here I am with one thing after another. It seems my still-empty farm is not enough and this hockey season has been worthy of prime-time Emmy awards, with more drama than I ever thought possible!
Here's the topper -
My mom has cancer. Breast cancer. She was diagnosed on New Year's Eve. The praise part would be that it is category 1; which is the lowest of the low. The part that is difficult is that no matter how minimal the cancer is, you still have to go through all the treatment...surgery, radiation and possibly chemo.
This is the first time I have put it in writing. It took a bit to talk about it too. Cancer. It's such an ugly word, and difficult to spit out. In a string of prayer request that I have shared over the years, I think the hardest thing to date, is to say is 'my mom has cancer.'
Here's what I do know -
I was NOT ready for the ride.
Here is the other thing I know -
I wouldn't change any of this for the world!
I have seen my kids grow in Christ. I have watched hockey parents change and come together and pray for our mini NHLers. I have had moments with my mom and my siblings that are only possible when Christ is the focus.
I hate the tragic parts, but I love what God does with them.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)
