Meeting God

I've been having a hard time trying to compose anything for this blog. Most things haven't gone the way I had thought they would and yes, that has threated my outlook on things. I've really struggled with confidence in Christ; that we are partnering with Him; aligning with His will. Each day I wonder what His plan is.

When I choose to look past all the doubt that has piled up in my mind, there is no doubt that I can see His blessings. We have been able to bless and encourage others, helping with a few church projects. We have met fellow Canadians at church...even a family from Steinbach who came in to my warehouse before we left and picked up Spanish Bibles to give out. They were so excited about it and I got to see first hand, the joy it brings to be able to gift someone with the Living Word!

The idea of finding local churches and adding their information to our Spanish material has been well received. So much so, that a visiting Pastor from Mexico City requested that their church too, be added, should Canadians ever make their way to Mexico City! Don't ask me what that's all about! Mexico City was never even on my radar...but I guess it's on God's!

Yesterday I headed out to a beautiful remote beach and spent some raw time with God. I cried and walked and cried and walked some more. I sat on the shore, watching Him in the rolling waves of magnificent blues and greens. I confessed my doubt. I worshiped El Roi; the God Who Sees Me and begged Him to bless me! I asked Him for a sign of some kind...writing in the sand, an unusual sight or maybe a much coveted conch shell that gets washed up every now and then...anything!!

I refused to leave the sea side until He had blessed me. I asked Him to speak to me. I had no Bible or journal to draw from. It was just me. I wasn't expecting much of a conversation. I love Scripture and it's my favorite way to hear from God. But there I was - just me. I offered mself up to Him again; for I'm sure, the millionth time.

And then I heard it -His gentle question on the breeze:
"Why are you working so hard for my favor, which you already have?"
What amazing confirmation! Yes! It's true! I already have His favor! How do I know? Because He calls me 'friend' and reveals so much of Himself and His plan to me, in my small sphere of influence.

Then on the gentle roll of the waves, I heard these words:
"Now you see in part, then you will see the whole."
Over and over again as the waves crashed at my feet, it lulled me.

I was so overjoyed! I had felt this whole time like nothing was coming together. All I could see were these loose ends of ministry moments that just don't seem to connect to each other. God was telling me that it didn't matter if I could see it or not. Is His plan so one-dimentional that I thought I would be able to close it off or check it off on my to-do list? Definately not. Long after I have made my way through the doors of the Winnipeg Inernational Airport and back into the great White North, His plan will sill prevail.

I had been blessed. I got up, turned to make the trek back, and there at my feet was an old conch shell with soft coral grown to it. Clearly, God had been saving it for me for a very long time! It was my "sign." I had asked for it. He delivered. I will never forget that meeting on the beach.